Me: Fudge, I don’t have a wearable for myself. I should buy one for you?
Fudge: Well, first of all, it is my birthday. Secondly, you keep saying that you love me. Thirdly, we can go out running. And finally, I can live till twenty if you take good care of me.
Me: And if I don’t?
Fudge: Well, you’ll have to pay thousands in medical bills as I keep coming down with various ailments that you could have avoided. Dogs get the same diseases as humans. You may even feel guilty.