Mel’s 10 Tips on Keeping Busy at a Traffic Light

We all get stuck in traffic. Sometimes I think I spend most of my waking hours at waiting at red lights. Like you, I just sit, get upset and waste my time. But just think. There is so much one can do!!

And I am not talking about picking your nose, pulling hair out of your ears and practicing other forms of traffic light grooming. Here are ten tips that will really change your life.

Tip Number One: Learn to sing four times better in four minutes (great for longer lights).

Tip Number Two: Listen to the shortest TED talks ever.

If the traffic light is short, double the rate of the presentations. Always fun to hear presenters speaking like chipmunks on speed.

https://www.ted.com/playlists/81/ted_in_3_minutes

Of course, if the traffic light is very short, you might want to see an even shorter video about nothing in particular:

Tip Number Three: Worried you’ll be late for your meeting? You can stop worrying forever. It will only take one minute and six seconds. Satisfaction guaranteed (I’m not worried).

Tip Number Four: Practice singing Jabberwocky backwards. Great brain candy. And time passes so ylkciuq.

Tip Number Five: Learn Chinese very quickly. It’s time we all did.

Tip Number Five: You are a child of the universe. You have a right to be here. The universe is unfolding as it should. Relax. Listen to Abie Nathan.

Tip Number Six: Soothe yourself by listening to Dean Martin. Volare works for me every time.

Tip Number Seven: A quick snooze is always helpful. Just make sure that you do this when your car or bus is not in motion.

Tip Number Eight:

Practice your embouchure. It’s not only good for players of reed instruments everywhere, it will make you a terrific kisser!

Tip Number Nine: Be one of the only people in the world (less than ten have seen this video!) to know why Hillary Clinton really lost the election.

Tip Number Ten:

Check whether you are color blind. If you are, the light may have changed already. Safe driving!

Bonus Tip:

Check your eye dominance. Great for shooting guns, arrows, and generally finding out more about the person you are.