So you all might be thinking as your’re reading this book, what the Husband are you getting @? This isn't me; I never did such a ridiculous set of deeds like this spiritually adept person. However, the point of this book is not just to entertain, to waste your time and money. Rather, to educate us!
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So you all might be thinking as you’re reading this book, what the Husband are you getting @? This isn’t me; I never did such a ridiculous set of deeds like this spiritually adept person. However, the point of this book is not just to entertain, to waste your time and money. Rather, to educate us all, including myself, to awaken the soul to this crucial mission, and make a difference in our Husband truly making happy our Wifey. The spiritual path to do this is bottom line as all of Jewish history as a good example, is to learn from the mistakes and get it right!
The Cover is an image of Husband (the sun) and Wifey (the moon) shining together beautiful and united, as will be in the days of new. With thanks to Shalom Bayit (Peace in the home) on facebook!We all agree we are standing at the end of history as we know it. Everything has changed even in my short life time, the instant generation of Now! We want instant good health, happiness and many want spiritual fulfilled homes. Ask yourself how many broken homes you know! Ask yourself how many broken hearts and souls? How many victims of a lack of education in relationship skills and spiritual guidance to get it right, right now! A friend once commented that our Husband in this story is always the fall guy and that’s exactly the best educator. The darkness of our Husband and Wifey’s stories will be turned into light with G-d’s help and our dedication. This is a special moment of inspiration and awakening that turns the confusion into the light of clarity, right now! Life changing in all ways! Easy to accomplish with our Husband of humor and the overall Supreme force guiding us all to get it right.Time is of the essence and we need to get to the point so let’s hear more inspirational, mind altering stories and from here our Husband will make happy Wifey eternal more! By the way you’re welcome to contribute you’re “Husband, Wifey happy” tales by sending us right now you’re story to our email firstname.lastname@example.org and comments on the “midnightrabbispiritualguide” Blog.
Copyright to Eli Goldsmith.
This is a time to take a trip home. Right now, I’m on a bus driving through the territories of the holy land near the holy city of Jerusalem. This is really intense typing on my new gift from my family from London. The moment is deeply awakening my sense and need to express in the written form. Hopefully, please G-d only words of thanks, positivity and wholesomeness in all that G-d blesses us. The unity of the flow of time, soul and place all combining in Oneness as we reach the entrance of our destination. New live tools allow us to grow and express the inner voice that beckons us all to take a trip home. However, this time realizing this has to be done together!
It all starts in a time where the need to complete tasks with supposed success brings us pain. The real success is the profound belief that all will be done in the right time and place with the right people with patience. The guiding force in our life is always with us, helping us discover this inner voice and truth that binds us all together with real success. A success that last forever! Which realization allows us to achieve complete happiness and convert the pain to satisfaction. The sun is setting behind the clouds and the motion sickness prevents the revelation from being expressed in short. This is a long story and one which we will have to begin and end together.
Here’s the goal of the new book bs’d!
To bring out the soul of my mission in the form of humorous novel.
The story will be about a fictional person living in Israel. In clip form.
He is from England, he fell in love with his beautiful best friend from University and somehow found his life changing from Secular to Spiritual.
The main awakenings are in Israel where everything seems to flow and how his relationship with people matures.
The struggle with money, society and personal issues.
The ability to sing in the form of words written and pictured.
The beginning of marriage and child rearing.
The streets and plans and action to make a difference for the youth culture.
The reconnection on line to the people of the past and world.
The awakening of a real search for truth amongst a world gone mad, as Moshiach is almost here, Bkorov mamesh soon in our days complete togetherness, amen!
For advice please email email@example.com
Or ask my Wifey to hold back her punches and the attempt to withhold this creative spark!
The Ant Infestation and smiley cake!
It was a special day of deeds of kindness, as many good husbands attempt to be in the good books and win brownie points. However, as you will tell, this husband needs to read the label more clearly and choose his weaponry more carefully.
The recent attack of ants, one in many beyond description, brought out the warrior and knight in arms in this endearing husband. Grabbing the most easy, cheapest solution that even the rules of Shabbat doesn’t forbid. The cinnamon solution.
What’s the problem with good old fashioned ant spray or even better calling and exterminator. Well this husband had no such thoughts, his goal was using the available cinnamon for cooking and royally pouring it on the problem areas. This of course was on all those places that ants love to congregate e.g. under the fridge, on the kitchen surfaces, on the door frames, behind the book shelves in the Salon etc… And even more so this warrior of tradition woke up nice and early to do his kind deed when all were asleep so his good deed would have the hidden element of righteousness. It says in the laws of prayer, charity before prayer helps the prayers find favor above, so would his kind deed prepared his wife’s day free of one more stumbling blocks. However, this all was not meant to be, as even cinnamon as a surprised good advice to many a friend does scare away ants, even though leaving a brown tinge to any place its spread. This was not the problem in the plan, it goes much deeper and sweeter, and the special Cinnamon this champion used was really Cinnamon Sugar…
The weary Wifey awoke to havoc, not just from the energetic already very alert species of young children, but an ant invasion. The ants came out in all their glory and the children screams and laughs didn’t help her start to the day with much order and calm. A call to the husband quickly clarified the situation as he proudly proclaimed his victory and then sudden defeat as she explained his chosen weapon, was a weapon of mass destruction, Sugar Cinnamon and not cinnamon. Anyhow, who asked you to interfere in the running’s of the house?
And now to the smiley cake story, a polite apology and gesture of peace.
Every husband in the whole world makes mistakes, right? This isn’t a story to excuse this husband’s deeds, but an attempt to correct what went wrong. Maybe it’s possible that the famous holy Rabbi, Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach Tz’l could live up to the truth of being a husband that never needed forgiveness. He himself testified at his largely attended holy Wifey and Rebbiztin Tz’l funeral that he doesn’t need forgiveness as he never stepped out of line from the obligation of a Jew to G-d and to his fellow man. However, we’re talking about a husband that you and me know very well and probably needs forgiveness every single day and even that is hard in coming. So here’s just one of many of the stories of husbandry fool hardy.
The Wifey of this endearing young man was baking a yummy cake for the birthday of a lovely young child of theirs. She chose a sponge cake to grace her hungry family and left it settle after its time in the oven. Fortunately for the family it was a big cake that was seasoned with chocolate drops that even the most foolish husband couldn’t ruin. So the Husband’s comes with appeasement in his hand, bearing a knife, begins to etch away a smiley face, assuming in his male naivety that his other female half will love the gesture. The large mouth and eyes provide this laughable man with a taste of the yummy cake. With to top it off, he leaves the knife in the mouth, forming the symbol of a cigarette, as if the cake was having a smoke. The Wifey returns and enough is enough. Combined that we forgot to mention, this was a pressured time as Shabbos/ Shabbat was approaching and the children were playing up, now her cake was having a smoke while laughing at her, and her husband stood smugly expecting a praise and receives a potch (a yiddisha karate chop)!
The dressing gown and the beads hanging from the door saved their lives!
Let’s go back to the newlyweds 1st nights together. Now we not talking about the beginning mamesh ( yeshivish language meaning really or Betezm = in essence) rather after a few months of marital bliss, the intifada leaving a ruffled pillow feathers, and their bottom line opinion and goal, to stick it out in the holy land no matter what. War planes flying above and rioting calming down between the differing groups. Friends we know well leaving out of fear either of the pending war that never came or the potential bus suicide bombing that unfortunately made destruction apart of life in Jerusalem. However, being newlyweds and determined ones at that, our Husband talks of belief in our loving protective Father above and below, especially when the below Father is helping to pay the rent. Wifey shakes of the fears of friends who have already left the holy land for supposedly safer shores. She begins to venture forth to work at night painting up other happy Wifey’s to be and giving them the best look for there soon to be Husbands at their spiritual union (i.e. the wedding, which by the way needs as much distraction from what they both have got themselves into – the mitzvah/commandment of making the bride and groom happy!). Our Husband awaits her return every night nervously not sure he likes this routine bus trip to more classes on makeup and design. He imagined their beginning of marriage, spending long nights together serenading Wifey with his guitar and talking about deep thoughts until the crack of dawn.
Instead, our Husband was worrying about his Wifey returning safely on the bus back home late into the night, while he almost fell asleep waiting reading some uninteresting novel about spiritual guides etc… So one of those long nights alone our Husband got it into his head tonight would be different, instead of anxiously waiting he would go out to greet her at the nearest bus stop at least a 10 minute walk. Since it was close to midnight and he the rabbi was already in Paros’s pajamas and dressing gown. The Purim soul of this husband (being he was born on Purim 16th Adar when its 3 days in Jerusalem, and a holy rabbi already called him “a Purim yid”) came out that moment and this time armed with his long winter coat over his Paros’s pajamas outfit, braved the cold windy night. All for the sake of love and life did our Husband make his way towards the love of his life Wifey. Wifey quickly exits the bus at the right stop and her jaw drops. Oh no, not again! The most embarrassing Husband in the world trick again. Like when they were dating and he turned up in his dad’s oversized suit while making all sorts of mistakes in Hebrew to the Rabbi’s who praised his wifey in front of him while praising him that he’s recently moved into a top class of the school. “She’s such a Mevakesh (= ‘wants to know the truth no matter what’), and the soon to be Husband dressed in a fat man costume gone thin, replies to the Rabbi in front of the soon to be Wifey, “what is a Mevakesh (= well he really wants to know the truth even at his Wifey’s embarrassment). Or when he made a blessing on the plastic fruits during their Lchaim (= the informal drink to celebrate their engagement together) and the host kindly made a comment on the weekly portion about Yosef and his dreams, “what really is reality”. Or every time he ever blessed over/after eating bread apart from the fact he was a Kohen/ from the priestly family of Cohanim, being called on to lead the blessings many times and getting a lot of words wrong with his Wifey determined to correct this weekly embarrassing occurrence by teaching the Husband the correct pronunciation. And now back to the bus stop and Paros’s Purim outfit, Oih vey he’s doing this again, people in the street stop what they’re doing as Wifey and Husband unite. But not in love rather in a huff and a puff as she storms off with him and the dressing gown belt was dragging on the ground in hot pursuit. Back to their humble abode this chase takes the couple and in their confusion they forget to lock the door. “You’re not doing this anymore!” the Husband requests, “You’re not doing this anymore!” the Wifey requests. And in the end the Wifey does stop going as babies change the flow of life, but the Husband still keeps up the Purim charade. So back to the fight, they go to sleep not on great terms and the front door is unlocked. As with all good fights, the timing was impeccable and the new cleaner who’d been hanging around too much, seemed to notice the open door after midnight rounds. Made his cleaning job a quick freebee into their newlywed kitted out apartment and cleaned off with all the new (trief) phones and camera, while evilly taking the tzaddakah/ charity box. However, the big money was in the bedroom and this is where a brother-in-laws present of blue beads hanging from the door came in handy. The building Cleaner or should they say Robber was scared off by the hanging beads and dare not enter the bedroom and so live on the Wifey and Husband together. The morning awoke with sour feelings and the realization that they’d been robbed and the cleaner had done a good job of disappearing too. So now a trip to the police station doesn’t achieve anything and nor does the fact that there flying to London in a few days and their passports are gone. Oih vey, off Husband and Wifey go to the passport office in Jerusalem. So the Conciliate of Britain the great empire of old actually closed down by now and the other passport would require a trip to Tel Aviv for the other Conciliate all the way in some huge mall at the top of some huge building somewhere. Now its Wifey’s turn as they weren’t getting far in replacing the stolen passports and time was ticking on. Husband returns from the toilet with Wifey laughing hysterically “Oh I checked one of the folders in my hand bag and found all the passports”
Thank G-d, they could finally return home and then onto London, but the story of the dressing gown and beads never left their hearts and minds, Wifey and our Husband!
Thy husband 2B when arth thou on time for the date?
A summer date and full moon shines in the center of Jerusalem. Spiritually this is all meant to be, decreed from the beginning of Creation, two souls that were really always one. The intense yearning to find the other half is coming to a happy goal, however, in the middle of the dating, off he flies back to London for a family Simcha/ occasion.
The London streets light up as this happy soul returns to his birth place. Our Husband to be and only to be is rejoicing with his family and friends of old. The only comfort is to his Wifey to be, is his half-drunk phone calls of excitement to return, and don’t worry I will be back in time for our next date and Teizax tests (test for hereditary compatibility before we can confirm the engagement).
The Husband to be, thought quickly to himself what’s the point of these tests anyhow? He continued meeting his friends before his flight back.
One more visit from his cousin and commemorating some great pictures from his visit to him in Jerusalem together. His father warns him that he’s going to miss the flight if he doesn’t leave soon. His father wakes him up from his fun when he says that he’s not taking him back to the airport directly, just to the over land train station. Oih gevalt, they leave quickly hugging his cousin good bye and off they drive to the train station. His father has changed his tune somewhat now feeling guilty “it should work out son, just run to the train and safe flight back to Israel”. He runs and he runs from train to train, his over packed suitcase weighs him down with new presents, mums bought new clothes and books he never had time to learn. He meets a fellow runner on their mission to make it in time to the check in counter at the airport. Now they arrive at the terminal and the fellow runner gives his story of the cab breaking down on the high way and paying a small fortune for a second cab, while they travel the special train from Terminal A to B. They run into Departures, it’s a late night flight and all is empty. The fellow runner senses what’s happened and begins to lose his cool. He sees a flight attendant “I’m sorry the flight is closed” Ahbhh…
Being a typical Husband to be, he had no more money even to go home and who wants to go home. Maybe they won’t let him go back at all to Israel. He looks down and sees a pound coin and uses this heavenly sent pound coin to phone his mother-in-law to be. She kindly agrees and invites him to stay by her for one night while she will try and squeeze him on his next flight. The mother-in-law had already given her blessings for the engagement, but now she would have to bail him out of this one so he can even get there and make the engagement reality. The little money he has is just enough thank G-d to get him to his mother-in-laws house and off he goes midnight time again. The rabbi who lives next door his mother-in-law agrees to let him stay. The next day before she flies herself to Israel she will try and squeeze him on the same flight. Thank G-d, after a restful sleep at the Rabbi’s house and sorting out the flights to Israel our Husband to be was able to come on the same flight as the mother-in-law to be. Now they both had the added incentive of getting to know each other and make his way back to his Wifey to be.
He landed just in time for the positive Texzacs test and results, and a special Lchaim after the engagement was sealed by the trees outside the Kotel and old city walls of Jerusalem. And that’s where we link back to the Lchaim story above and those special plastic fruits. Our Husband and Wifey were together, well almost.
The Guiding point!
So you all might be thinking as your reading this book, what the Husband are you getting @? This isn’t me; I never did such a ridiculous set of deeds like this spiritually adept person. However, the point of this book is not just to entertain, to waste your time and money. Rather, to educate us all, including myself, to awaken the soul to this crucial mission, and make a difference in our Husband truly making happy our Wifey. The spiritual path to do this is bottom line as all of Jewish history as a good example, is to learn from the mistakes and get it right!
We all agree we are standing at the end of history as we know it. Everything has changed even in my short life time, the instant generation of Now! We want instant good health, happiness and many want spiritual fulfilled homes. Ask yourself how many broken homes you know! Ask yourself how many broken hearts and souls? How many victims of a lack of education in relationship skills and spiritual guidance to get it right, right now! A friend once commented that our Husband in this story is always the fall guy and that’s exactly the best educator. The darkness of our Husband and Wifey’s stories will be turned into light with G-d’s help and our dedication. This is a special moment of inspiration and awakening that turns the confusion into the light of clarity, right now! Life changing in all ways! Easy to accomplish with our Husband of humor and the overall Supreme force guiding us all to get it right.
Time is of the essence and we need to get to the point so let’s hear more inspirational, mind altering stories and from here our Husband will make happy Wifey eternal more! By the way you’re welcome to contribute you’re “Husband, Wifey happy” tales by sending us right now you’re story to our email firstname.lastname@example.org and comments on the “midnightrabbispiritualguide” Blog.
From distractions to actually look at Wifey face to face!
So anyone might ask themselves if they still even think for a second, why am I so distracted. And what is marriage all about other that full emotional connection, with the face to face truth of the secret of the world. We’re not talking about some commercial rip off version of “the secret”, but rather something so deep and obvious that in a world gone mad is the most hidden secret of them all. The secret is real focus and attention that joins two beings in such a way that only G-d, Himself, could be part of and not distract from this intense binding of two souls into their essential oneness.
The soul filled Husband sat at his table. Professing his profound awakening this Rosh Hashanah (the holy days of the Jewish new-year), he realized as he read “the Garden of Peace” (Rabbi Shalom Arush translation by Lazer Brody on finding peace in your home) during the rather long prayer service of his very high and dedicated Shul (prayer house and congregation). The most important thing to remember is putting his Wifey first. The prioritized Husband knows that no Rabbi, no Job, no Family, no Friend and no other person, place or time must be allowed to feel as more loved than good happy Wifey.
The story telling Husband, pronounces his tale of righteous people who told there sincere followers to always put there Wifey first. Even for the holy days and prayer, to stay at home with the Wifey and pray near their house rather than some far off place with his spiritual leader. As the pious story runs to its end the sound of singing from our husbands spiritual leader emanates through the window. Their Yom tov meal that already stretched into the night due to the late finish of the prayer service already ran the Wifey ragged left with her little ones. And now at the climax of our devoted Husbands story, suddenly the sound of his Rabbi and friends, pulls him away from his table and running outside towards the dancing and singing of Tashlich (the custom at the end of the two days of Rosh Hashanah, is to throw all the previous sins into a place of water and fish, while reciting certain cleansing prayers of Repentance). Wifey is left bewildered and Husband is thinking how good he is with his stories of priorities and finding a Shul and Rabbi right next to where they live. After dancing with the fish and rounding of this joyous Day of Judgment, this fulfilled husband exercises judgment and find himself home late that night. Wifey is crying in her bed and he enters the war scene of dirty dishes and house with the kids thank G-d finally sleeping, no thanks to our Husband. He notices that chocolate milk has been spritzed all over the wall and begins his kind service of cleaning the mess! As the Husband scrubs the wall he sings a song of happiness at how good his focus is, you see the first thing he does is clean up the mess his Wifey is unable to clean.
Wifey gets angrier the more he sings and ignores her broken state and she angrily approaches him. On the way through the kitchen she screams and throws a tub of Salmon juices with bits of fish, he runs to calm her and prevent Wifey from more damage and they both slip and go flying on the Salmon juice. Now there both in a real mess, but wait that’s not even the end of it. Husband’s children have been putting play mobile men in tubs of water imitating the swimming pool they went to in the summer. Husband in his family care mode threw the water down the toilet so there shouldn’t be ANY damage. Unfortunately he mistakenly threw the play mobile men that were still swimming down the drain and blocked the toilet. This is a long story that required much cleaning as some mashugah plumber that has 10 advertisements with 10 phones came and splashed feces and urine all over the house and still didn’t un-block the toilets and expected his pay. 800 shekel to real plumber later and a few tons of washing, finally they were ready, our Husband and Wifey for the forgiveness that only Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement can bring.
A famous friend of mine said to me that the only day of the year he disconnects is Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement, 25 hours off line. And Rav Moshe Weinberger shlita proudly proclaims at a class he gave which interestingly is on a video on YouTube that he’s never been on line or even on a computer, wow. The ability to focus and give our Husband to Wifey emotionally face to face is from the holiest source and will solve all these problems that were depicted above. The amazing ability for man specifically Husbands to be distracted by everything and anything, even more so for those on line. To focus and face your self is such an intense experience especially when Wifey is the one needing our Husbands attention. This feeds and nourishes our Wifey’s emotional need, but our Husband has an unbelievable ability to side line this crucial lifesaving and happy home making goal.
So let’s begin another story where this time our Husband gets it right and doesn’t turn his life into a disaster scene from a movie.
The computer in the toilet / bathroom syndrome!
Nowadays it’s become clear the dangers of addictions and addictive personalities. The internet in all circles of society has had an effect on communication individually and communally. The positive goal is to unify the voice of the individual on a global scale. However, as every good Rabbi has pointed out, “it’s much easier to have good relationship with someone far away than a close neighbor.” Even more so a close relative and even more so our Husband and Wifey!
The challenge is huge, even for our Husband like this, as we all know that every minute the phone rings, the text buzzes and emails with pokes and jokes hit you from every direction. Let’s say our Husband and Wifey are on a higher plain than someone who feels the need to be online and connected 24/7. And we don’t even mean 24/6 for those keeping Shabbat/ the 7th day of rest/ Shabbos. Rather, our Husband and Wifey don’t even have internet or a computer in the house. Our Husband works in an office with online access in order to help great causes of education and helping poor children. Gathering funds to pay for these fortunate ones come out of their unfortunate circumstances. While our Husband is doing P.R. and S.E.O. in order to strengthen this institute’s name. Even though most people feel the need to be on line 24/7 or 6 to achieve this kind of work. Our ideal Husband thinks he can accomplish all the above goals, with a phone that is big enough to snowboard on and old enough just to make a phone call as long it’s in an area where maybe there might be some service.
The plan of our Husband is to focus on his relationship with Wifey and holy growing family. However, we make plans and G-d laughs or rather gives us further room to grow. A well-meaning friend and mentor had an old computer that he no longer needed. A laptop computer was the size of a desktop almost. Our Husband of our story had a fund raising event and needed a bit more on-line time than his office hours provided. The Husband next door neighbor had an internet connection and gave him the code for a previous story of job change. The new/old laptop/desktop computer needed a wireless key and after 80 shekels in a cool store in the new bus station our Husband was on line in his own home. Only costing 80 shekels and some needed storage place to keep this new monster away from the kids, our Husband was on line and connected in the home. The updated plan of our Husband was to use this new set up only in toilet time and late night networking with American friends on-line that time.
However, the toilet syndrome began; as this old fart computer took ages to turn on and being the fan was broken this time machine would overheat and turn off. Our Husband realized he needed top M.L.M. strategy to make the most of this, firstly to turn it on in advance and secondly quickly put in the code and quickly do what was needed to be done. The bottom line was task left undone or not done properly. The new time waster was waiting for it to cool down to start up again until one day this Hi-Tec oven fell crashed and the fan turned on! Now our Husband was in big trouble as things went on the computer took over hours of time, toilet time and beyond. Wifey complained and threatened a few times to throw this junk out the window. The Husband showed her she could get her children to sit and watch pictures to use up their child like energies in an easy distracted way. However, Wifey wasn’t to be won over as easy as she saw their personal connecting time dwindle into more networking and the longest toilet/bathroom sessions humanly possible. Wifey preferred for the kid’s creative flow arts and crafts, rather than this old/new monster impinging on their lives. Anyhow, an old computer and wireless key dropped on the floor one to many times ended the tyranny of this new found idol. The worldwide awakening of the addictiveness etc… of on line inter-net ended the neighbor’s free connection and a move of house a few months later finished completely this midnight intruder. And now Husband’s old computer sits in a bag collecting dust somewhere and Wifey gets potentially her needed and important connection time. The kids happily return to their arts and crafts and the world seems to brighten. Until a new brand new laptop finds itself in our Husband’s hands. No inter-net in the house, but instead an opportunity to write this spiritually guiding story for a happy Husband and Wifey on many a bus journey (car sickness permitted).
The one too many guest syndrome!
The Yomim Tovim / days of goodness are an opportunity for real family connecting time. This husband is one that family is defined in loose terms, and usually finds his students and friends as the main family he focuses on. The weekend / Shabbos / Shabbat or for some 2 day weekend is also an opportune time for much needed family bonding. This Husband has a Tish /Chassidic brotherhood get together’s with the Rebbe / spiritual leader or as a father once called them the boys club! Obviously we shouldn’t underestimate the importance of the spiritual hunger the Rebbe’s Tish can fill. We all have a body and soul, this would need a book itself like “Know yourself” in English from the author of “Bilavi Mishkan Evnah” / from “with my heart I will build a sanctuary in this world”! The Soul part of a person needs to be nourished too. Getting together in a group, Chuburah, Chassidus brings a person much needed encouragement and times for closeness to G-d and fellow man. Especially when the Rebbe / spiritual leader of the group is filled with Simcha / happiness, advice, inspirational stories, song and soul! However, let’s all be honest sometimes the Husband just wants a nosh and escape from the day in day out drudgery and then having to face himself in the form of Wifey!
Hosting guests is also an opportunity to escape this important responsibility of focusing on his other half and burdening his Wifey with all the extra work it implies. So let’s begin this series of funny stories, in order of funniness not time
1. The Vegan on the Shabbat before Pesach / Passover and famous singer too,
2. The 10 guests a meal on 3 day Yom tov,
3. The soup tastes funny and so does this Chulent “the food comes out according to the guests”
4. The early booking, unwanted guests, left in the house with Wifey, late, lost and found visitors, and un-solicited advice with seconds too,
5. The perfect host and hostess with Husband and Wifey eating out!
1. The Vegan on the Shabbat before Pesach / Passover and famous singer too!
Passover is a time of Joy and family connection!
Pesach is a time of Matzos / the poor man’s bread eaten with haste as we leave the place of restraints every year to true freedom and 4 cups of wine that bind us too our Creator and Savior. However, our Husband like many Husband’s hears these names of Passover / Pesach calling his Wifey and the one Passover literally comes to mind. Especially the days leading up to the Yomim Tovim filled with spring cleaning, hours babysitting, eating meals on the staircase or worse in the Pizza store. Even after a few years of experiencing this kind of chametzdik life, Wifey learns that Pesach doesn’t need to be Passed over, rather the preparation days can also be joyous and real. In simple words no spring cleaning save that for the free winter months, “Just clean away the bread in the house not the dust and order!” The Husband breathes a sigh of relief and this year he actually enjoys these days. Like we said quality family time and in this new state of relaxation why not bring a guest for the Shabbat/ Shabbos/Day of rest before Pesach. So a famous holy soul with endless musical and lyrical talent happened to be in Jerusalem before Pesach. And being our Husband’s kind of work he reached out to this special guest for an arrangement that would change the life of our Husband once again. Why? Well Wifey can answer this, as she would never host guests again like this so close to Pesach unless the joyful burden and Nachus of many little ones and a recent baby would ease up. This V.I.P. guest is a vegan, this means not even eating Challah / the fluffy yummy white or in our case whole wheat loaves of bread made in honor of Shabbos / Shabbat. This holy soul made Kiddush on Lchaim as Husband and Wifey washed with the little ones and ate their Challah outside on the stairs being so close to Passover. As they all returned Wifey suddenly realizes that the fish, Chulent meat and potatoes’ dish traditionally ate Shabbos day and egg with salad was off the list. So what can we feed this guest of the year? Some lettuce, potatoes and cut off fruit that hadn’t been mixed with the meat was all that could be eaten. The family of Husband and Wifey ate on wondering at this lofty soul that enjoyed Shabbos beyond the indigestion and physical pleasure. Wifey used to serving the guests their full was nervous that with this guest she’d failed. However, off our lofty guest burst into song with the little ones enjoying every rendition of the Shabbos songs, “10 plagues” and “Dance through the red sea.” The guest is a Pesach yid not one to Passover, someone who was truly free. But Wifey just couldn’t take his lack of involvement in all her extra and unwanted cooking. Especially at a time where she could have done without the extra time put in for the guest, with Pesach round the corner. The Husband happy with the song and soul of this special meal praises his coming as if he was the Messiah / Moshiach himself leading us out of this Golus / Exile! Anyhow, our Husband comes back down to reality and Wifey reminds him please don’t bring a guest like this just before Pesach, ok responds the Husband “but can he come for Yom tov as well?”
2. Ok so you all probably had enough and Husband hasn’t even made enough errors to finally make Wifey happy. This story is in short a funny contradiction one that doesn’t confuse most, but nevertheless will bring out a few worthwhile lessons.
It all began in the days leading up to a 3 day Yom tov. Now tremble not but even in the Holy land the day of Judgment can begin on Thursday and be 3 full days including Shabbos, the desired day of Rest. Our kind husband had invited over a Minyan (10 men) to their tiny apartment. The funny thing is Wifey with her little ones, and little money in her wallet wondered who’s paying for all those chickens let alone cooking them. Our positive Husband had mistakenly read a Chassidic story or Bubba Maiser where the Husband or let’s call him holy Chassid, decided to be like Abraham Lincoln we mean Avraham Avinu (our Father and 1st Jew in the world). It’s more important to give to guests than talk to the Shechinah (Wifey in mystical terms, is termed the source of divine presence in the home) which in this story meant inviting 10’s of guests rather than listening to his Wifey’s needs is the husband’s holy mission.
However let’s give some guidelines, firstly make sure you ask your local Orthodox ( A guide with His head on straight and real with your situation) local Rabbi 1st before any holy missions. Especially when the story our Husband learnt from, was a story more than 100’s of years ago where for sure there is what to learn and be inspired, just in order to apply it nowadays needs some common sense i.e. the 5th order of the Shulchan Aruch (“the Jewsih code of law meaning the set table, everything has its place). Now we are in a time where much has changed. Secondly, our husband can’t even afford 10-20 chickens which before all should come his Wifey’s new Yom Tov dress etc… Thirdly, our holy Forefather defiantly didn’t leave his holy Wifey to clean, cook and serve his special daily guests, he did it himself alongside his sons and servants (sorry Abe). Anyhow this list could go on forever and so could this book as our husband best friend recently told him to keep this all short. So to cut it short our Husband went to his boss of all these students he’s invited, got a few extra bucks bought the chickens and hey presto. 3 days of cooking cleaning, and another 3 days of serving and well done Husband but 6 days of fun was quite enough to do again next sweet year. Instead Wifey explained nicely but firmly that 6 or more children are quite enough guests for them right now! Otherwise our Husband wouldn’t be a guest at his own home he will be sleeping and eating with the students, rather on better thoughts Husbands will keep reading this happy Wifey book.
3. Did you ever make Chicken soup the Jewish Penicillin, well who didn’t enjoy its soul/body healing nourishing food? The answer is my guests one time didn’t, the Matzah balls, or Kenaidalach were sour and so therefore so was the soup (note: all the old scool food was named with lach at the end of the word, “lach” meaning “you” whereas now many foods ends with the Hebrew spelling “li” meaning “me” e.g. Bizli, Carli, Bambi, Boni and read me, so let’s learn to be more about “you” old scool style). So we did host these forgiving guests again, well one of them, but the main story was our Husband attempt to praise even this soup to our Wifey. The guest tried to hide their laughing.
The famous saying goes “the food comes out according to the guest” and without being too obvious our husband became good friends with a celebrity. Every meal this famous dude came Wifey somehow complained that the rice was burnt, the Chulent bland and the chicken way to dry, even the chicken soup had a funny color and taste when our husband bought a purple onion by mistake and miss flavored the precious soup once again. Either way the celebrity stopped coming or Wifey was happy to be off the hook, but not happy with our Husband stubborn streak to host anyone except their own family. It’s not like our Husband and Wifey are blaming these gusts for the spoiled food, but its defiantly better than blaming Wifey.
4. The early booking, unwanted guests, left in the house Wifey, late, lost and found visitors, and un-solicited advice with seconds too,
So the title speaks for itself of the next bunch of Wifey Husband stories and it’s all about these exciting guests. So in order not to bore anymore or waste precious typing, editing and trashing time, we will shorten the versions and keep to the point.
Many a guests have phoned those last crazy minutes that Husband can’t say no too and Wifey wished these guests would only know.
To know what Wifey goes through every week and the last thing she needs is last minutes guests who show as much consideration as a mother-in-law with a key to a newly married couple’s house.
Some guests even leave it to finding our husband in Shul and inviting themselves to the meal without any notice at all. And some guests even turn up during the meal expecting 5 star service and food with Wifey all smiles.
The truth is our Husband could for sure prearrange who comes early in the week say by Wednesday and make clear to any inexperienced guests as to how Wifey really works, that last minute appearances just don’t add to Shalom Bayis “Peace in the home” mentality.
Also our Husband has been forced to find lost guests, who either from less than clear directions, no GPS and a language barrier to ask the locals even when they share the same mother tongue, but fear of communication gets in the way. Either way the guests are lost, late or decided to ditch this meal and go to the later meal round the corner etc… Wifey is less than happy with the delay! Wifey didn’t eat much that week or rest or relax or just gather herself, and her whole family is hungrily and tiredly awaits this much needed meal. You might even say it’s a Mitzvah to enter the meal hungry, but not dangerously hungry. Ever noticed how hungry and angry are quite similar kind of words well our Husband sometimes forgets this. Anyhow, the joyous return home with the found and hungry and tired guest doesn’t make for the most energized of meal together, but our Husband keeps trucking on.
Many a time our Husband has left the house bright an early on his campaign of holiness leaving the guests in the house with Wifey. Some drunken students puking in the bathroom till late morning didn’t make for good companions to Wifey who didn’t want to leave her room until hours later they left. Or the guest who overslept and the Husband were already in a different town, and this guest did not know where he is. Or the unwanted guest that turned up last minute and asked Wifey why was she looking so tired and can he please have seconds. This guest also a single 20 year old visitor gave unsolicited advice about education and parenting when Wifey had just spent the week before in hospital with a child.
The next time this guest came our Husband got revenge, while drunk on Purim our husband asked him some embarrassing questions from past days and that was the last time he ever came. Wifey really wants to be the ideal hostess and works hard to cook top but practical cuisine and being house proud make sure the young boys aren’t making too much on the floor especially not in the toilet. So our husband needs to write a guest rulebook “all the things a guest shouldn’t do” and then Wifey will open the door again.
5. Now before we get into the real point of this Husband Wifey happiness, let’s get into the ideal Host and Hostess, role models and a quick recommendation.
So first the recommendation to research a lot before beginning any relationship between a potential Husband and Wifey, this excludes any other false kind of relationship as this isn’t what this book is for.
For example, to read lots of books on the subject and invest loads of time as much or more than time you give to learning towards a degree, Rabbinical ordination, any kind of career or buying a house or bringing up children. This is the most important part of a person’s life and these days happy Wifey Husband takes immense work and prayer and is fundamental to success and happiness in life in all ways. The first recommendation is to find good role models and Guides to help in the daily war that ensues with becoming Husband and Wifey. The second recommendation is to read, listen, watch loads of good books, classes and general and specific research. For example, read/listen to Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s 10 commandments to marriage. As fundamental the 10 commandments are to the function of mankind, even more so are His 10 commandments in marriage. We already recommended Rabbi Shalom Arush books like “Garden of Peace” which with Emunah and priorities help focus a person on the purpose of Husband Wifey togetherness. (alongside many other books / classes which will be posted at the finished version of this book and can be asked to the Guide himself bs’d ). The third recommendation is not to listen to Parents, Parents-in-laws or any other non-objective advice when it comes to happy Husbands and Wifey issues. The fourth recommendation is to read this book with an open mind to as the Guide himself and from the stories get the message behind them and share this with others. The fifth recommendation is to remember the truth of what really Husband and Wifey being happy is which means to read the rest of this book and delve into our holy Torah as everything is in it especially the path of peace and happiness.
The role model host and hostess hosted our Husband and Wifey when they were newly married. The ideal Host lived a similar life to our Husband helping kids throughout the week at strange hours meaning he wasn’t home for Wifey. However, when hosting guests our Host and Hostess did this with a smile and sincerely meant it. Our Husband and Wifey hungrily arrived at their house after a long journey and even though it was the 7th day of Passover were served the most excellent array of cakes, fruits, nuts, cold drinks and left to eat them with happy privacy together. The Host smiled and honored his Hostess from the beginning of Yom Tov until our husband’s and Wifey’s departure and left a huge impression of the ideals of marriage. Our Host even though hardly ever sleeping was on call for His Hostess needs throughout the night, staying up late helping washing the dishes and not succumbing to his own needed sleep. Our Host was up early ready to help early in the morning and praying in a normal time Shul and back in time to help for the meals was full of smiles and compliments with no sign of lack of sleep. The Host focus on respecting his family and their needs went beyond the law, while not being over one law of Divine law and etiquette.
Our Husband and Wifey felt in the Presence of the Divine Presence and our hostess though crying during candle lighting at the beginning of Yom Tov only added to the Joy of being in such a home. The next part of the book we will give a story in how we can emulate this all please G-d !
Deep fresh pastures await our Forefather as he makes his holy way to build a chosen people. A Chosen people not because of any racial difference, but rather chosen for a responsibility to be an example of spiritual truth to the world. The main objective of our holy Forefather was to build a family, pure of negativity and filled with innate energy to transform the world from physically greed driven to an example of the power of being a giver like the Holy one who Gave us all! Our 1st Real Perfect Husband came to a well of water and saw his chosen soul mate Wifey, performed beyond human kindness in front of her, kissed and wept.
This all needs deep explanations like in what’s written in our holy book Sefer Tanya, which in chapter 45 gives the depth of 2 souls bound together, being the source of Souls and spiritual duties and how they combine in the most intimate way. And yet the struggle that unites all mankind, to achieve this unity of soul which is best shown through Husband and Wifey. Our Forefather cry at this special unique moment of unity with his Wifey our holy Matriarch, echoes throughout the generations at all our Husbands yearning to manifest perfect Unity of spirit and our frustrated effort to deal with an imperfect un-unified world. So this example from the Torah at the beginning of how our holy nation was formed is filled with endless lessons and inspiration for every Husband and Wifey for all the generations. The whole Torah carries examples of advice and Guidance how to forgive and handle real deep relationships. The Megilas Esther is a great example of the ultimate Husband Wifey with Morderchai and Esther ultimate sacrifice for the purpose of the continuation of the nation of ideals, and Haman and Zeresh the evil example of what not to emulate as they seek destruction of such positive truth and people. The examples and teachings are endless so therefore in order that it will be understood in a relatable fashion we will keep to our Husband and Wifey in our Struggle filled generation of 2010’s 5770’s and on, till our redeemer comes soon in our days and shows us what real true unity is all about!
Our Husband and Wifey learn what true unity is all about and how this brings lasting happiness!
There are many challenges for Husband and Wifey to truly come to sincere happiness. The search for each other in a world of separation is a huge story in itself. However, it carries in it much insight as to what is the guiding hand that makes the done deal. In our Husband’s case he met his Wifey in previous circumstances through close friends and even though no relationship was began, there was a strong inner knowledge from both of them and many friends and family that they were suited for each other. This strong feeling of intuition alongside many non-coincidental circumstances and thanks to G-d some real attraction and warming advice from Rabbonim brought this special match into fruition. Our Husband and Wifey knew the challenges would begin with the engagement, preparation for the wedding, the wedding itself, the home, the children the parent-in-laws, the education, the guests, the family functions both for Simchas and Mourning and most importantly our Husband and Wifey’s personal connection time. This is the focus on our next story the challenge for our Husband and Wifey to truly connect, focus and become one in the ultimate sense.
Our Husband and Wifey’s conversations bring us to see the process of communication takes years. Like the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” brings out the massive difference between man and women. The Torah describes men and women as two different nations, which needs two special ways of communication. The man being talked to more harshly from the Torah with an intellectual focus and women being talked to more softly with an emotional focus. How many times could our Husband been saved from unnecessary dispute with hours of more needed making up time if only he would give Wifey the proper respect and value that a women deserves. The Torah wants our Husband to honor his Wifey more than himself and what many people don’t know or talk about, means he has to honor Wifey in all her womanly ways.
Our Husband has to really learn to listen more to her emotional needs and allow the time and focus for Wifey to express them. Our Husband has to really appreciate all Wifey does for him. Our Husband really has to pray for the clarity of doing our Ultimate Guide’s will and Wifey will do his will whether he knows this or not, see Rebbe Nachman from Breslov sefer Likutei Moharan in Tanina Torah ayin zayin.. The problem is our husband has a 1000 stories where he didn’t manage to live our Guide’s advice and that would take us beyond this book. But we have to give our Husband credit to him and Wifey for sticking at it and building ahead.
Once upon a time there lived a Husband and he was busy with what Husbands are busy with. Wifey really needed to talk. The problem was that this Husband was disconnected. He was connected to everything but her. Wifey knew that this Husband had generations of Husbands all finding reasons not really to face themselves and their spouse. So Wifey came up with a great idea, not the threat of divorce and not turning off every device known to man, even though this does help, rather a wakeup call. Either you focus on our relationship or your life will be complete misery. Therefore, our Husband after tasting the bitterness of no relationship with Wifey, realized the crucial purpose of mankind, is relationship with all his focus and energy. The husband became alive with happiness as his Relationship with our Creator came alive, daily life had meaning, his children become precious manifestation of continuation of true life and his life was blessed with everything good. However, this took a lot of hard work and went completely against his nature and this is what Wifey helped Husband go beyond to real spiritual happiness.
It’s all possible->Bs’d…
The Beetle bugs from above!
This is an extra story inspired by the summer months, a time of potential growth with milk and honey, the sweetness of Husband and Wifey happy.
However, with every time of peace there is a time of war. As we began this book so we shall end it, but this time the invading army of insects are of the beetle bug kind. Recently in the Holy land around the time of Pesach / Passover there was an invasion of Arbeh / Locusts reaching world news as a special hint to the Plague that originated in Egypt / Mitzrayim. This story was years before when the children were still babies and time for Wifey and Husband to have alone time including special quiet meals together was a reality. The problem was the unwanted guests, also wanted to be there and we’re not talking about the beloved crying babies. Moving into a new apartment with more space and a nice balcony to make a meal together Wifey worked hard to cook up a storm. Wifey chose with satisfaction her latest yummy recipe’s and set a table fit for her King on their newly acquired balcony. Little did Wifey know that her Husband hadn’t invited guests this time they gatecrashed from above. As Husband complimented Wifey and prepared to be seated, so did 1000’s of black beetle bugs descend on their finely set meal of togetherness? The strangest invasion of aliens would’ve been less evasive as this summer the Beatles came alive and in numbers. Therefore, Husband and Wifey reached a new level of closeness and I mean that literally, closed up in the apartment, Wifey screeching and our Husband fighting them off while desperately trying to salvage their special meal and time. So with this in mind our Husband and Wifey appreciate their quiet time these days even if it has to be much later and sometimes inside due to unwanted mosquitoes. As the main thing is to connect at some point with food beetle bug free and our Husband smiling at our Wifey happily even if the test from above challenges this union, we must all keep focused and wanting “Husband Wifey happy”
The Big Mistake/s!
This almost a Steven King horror story and if for some holy reason you don’t know who Steven King is, just imagine he’s the King of the Demons exposing all the horrors you can’t even imagine. What could really unsettle this “Husband, Wifey happy” goal of our book other than real disaster style stories which would really be a waste of all our time to write about. The key word is the correct speech or rather positive speech or for lack of and worse negative speech or let’s more nicely say not positive speech!
Our Husband had been away in London fundraising not so successfully for a worthy program for the youth and the culture shock on his return was a lot. The fancy life style of London people had left its mark plus the lack of sleep which kept our Husband somewhat disorientated. Our Wifey was eagerly awaiting our Husbands return with the young rabble excitedly hanging on to her dress. The private cab/taxi with our Husband more successful fundraising companion had ordered to bring them back from the airport had its comfort zone to cushion the change to dusty hot and holy Israel. As our Husband draws close tiredly back to his home in the holy new day of beautiful Jerusalem he leaves the driver with his card and a present of music that he’d been given in London which he was happy to have left there. Our Wifey stands at the entrance of the building smiling and waving as their cab/taxi pulls into the road. Our Husband notices his Wifey is wearing a new shirt which he comments to his companion in the Taxi “wow my Wifey looks like she put on weight maybe I should have never come back lol or maybe it’s just the new shirt”, his companion responds with a laugh and wishes him well and our Husband leaves the cab/taxi, our husband holding his bags and Wifey holding her babies unite.
After a while of unpacking our Husband turns to his Wifey and makes the BIG mistake of his marriage so far, and repeats what he said to his fundraising companion in the cab/taxi about Wifey’s new shirt. So let’s not get into this story of what happened after this improper speech from a Husband to a Wifey, but in short Wifey was devastated, broken, shattered, angry, embarrassed and beyond words hurt. Our Husband had in short transgressed one of the 10 commandments of marriage and called Wifey overweight or fat looking or worse frumpy. As much as our Husband tried to explain, back track, be nice, give presents, and beg forgiveness with cries for help, the damage was done. The real problem is this wasn’t an isolated incident as our well-spoken and honest Husband had the habit of making one too many mistakes with his speech. Like when Wifey was after her one of many babies, she really was exhausted and our thoughtful Husband decided to compliment her with how stunning she didn’t look. The words he used was to be exact “You look stunning”, but the problem was Wifey in her tiredness knew he meant “not stunning”. Anyhow, we could go on all day and night where our Husband made the wrong statement again and again, it’s better we save you the pain.
So let’s understand rather what the Baal Shem Tov (appropriately the master of the good name) may his merit protect and bring shalom/peace to our entire Husbands Wifey happy, guide us in the right path to go on. Basically this kind and holy soul the B’sh’t taught us that the thoughts of our Husband effects our children’s behavior, the speech of our Husband affects our relationship with Wifey, and our Husband kind deeds influences the state of house and heritage. Therefore, we see the importance of speech being positive, thought out, guided with kindness and common sense niceness to really make our Husband, Wifey happy. This is the deep secret of turning darkness into light, turning our BiG mistakes to BiG change towards encouragement, appreciation from a deep place, connecting with warmth and devotion, truth and consideration, soul and song, inspiration and love. May we all merit saying what we need to say in the right time, place and person always to bring a pleasing aroma with all our words, especially Husband, Wifey happy!
The Clean/Dirty/Black floor syndrome!
Now this story begins with our Husband growing up in a house or let’s says a Palace, where it was difficult to find a speck of dust. Not that his mother didn’t go around looking, with plastic gloves on, Jay Cloth ready, sprays and licked finger ready to inspect the immaculate surfaces of the floors. Even more so the sinks shinned better than a mirror with some being constantly attended with the goal to never be used almost, just to shine. The toys had special places, rooms and the couches in the Lounge were not to be sat on. Don’t even think about walking on the carpets with your shoes on, and complete devotion to the cleaners and hoovers that came daily. However our Husband must grow up and move on to his own humble abode with Wifey. Wifey grew up in an opposite story and rather than go into details let’s start of in Husbands, Wifey home.
Picture a house filled with Toddlers and babies, the house is only big enough for newly married couples and we already had the bug and insect invasion stories. There’s a funny story our Husband heard from Rav Moshe Weinberger shlita about Cockroaches/Bugs which in Hebrew are called Charakim, and were invading the house of a different Wifey. However, the new immigrant/ Oleh from America was still working on her Ulpan/Hebrew learning course. This Wifey phoned up an exterminator and mistakenly said “Hello, there are Charedim (word meaning pious group i.e. a group from the Jewish people trembling for the word of G-d) on my balcony, and I hate them” the exterminator surprisingly says “look lady I neither love or hate them but we got to get along with them”. This Wifey continues “but they make lots of children and are taking over”, the exterminator responds “yeah their known for this kind of lifestyle, but what’s that got to do with me”. This Wifey frustrated continues “but we got to kill them all already” the exterminator says adamantly, “look we all got to learn to live together happily whether we like them or not” Ha ha, so our Husband in our story wasn’t as troubled with this kind of stories and usually his Wifey just cleaned up the mess that brought the bugs there, filled in the holes and got on with her life, exterminator free. However, our Husband couldn’t tolerate the mess the wonderful beloved children caused. Tired Wifey wasn’t up to daily, hourly clean ups and preferred to clean up when the time truly called for it, but our Husband was used to the highest of Ritzy standards and he couldn’t tolerate the dirty floors. Our husband friend and learning partner clarified that there’s nothing wrong with living with black floors, “better the children shine rather than the door handles and windows shine instead”. The truth be told Wifey was doing a good job of cleaning at the end of every week so the weekend and the Shabbos Queen could be greeted with the honor She so deserves. And our Husband developed a Syndrome known as the Sweeping addict. Once again our Husband heard a lofty tale of old where one of the Righteous famous Beadles Rav Tzvi Hersh Rimanover later to become the Rebbe himself had been known to sweep the floor with lofty intentions, e.g. cleaning away all the negative external forces that troubled the worshipers in Prayer. The original Rebbe Rav Mendel of Rimanvoer saw the way his Beadle cleaned out the Shul of all unholy thoughts and yearned for such a sweeping even on the day of Rav Tzvi Hersh’s wedding day. Many years later a simple Jew was given the privilege of sweeping out the Shul for the Divrei Yechezkal aka the Shinver Rebbe son of the Divrei Chaim of Sanz. This simple Chassid decided in his simplicity that he wanted the same intentions as the holy Beadle of Rimanover even though he didn’t know what they were and in Heaven they should consider his sweeping as if it was so. When the Shinver Rebbe walked in, he bellowed “who’s been sweeping this Shul”, very scared our Chassid responded “I did” the Shinver continued “and what were your intentions” the Chassid in fear responded “ the same intentions whatever the holy Beadle of Rimonver had”, the Shinver lit up “Ah such holiness has been created here that its pours out this Shul”. And so the our Husband hoped his sweeping addiction could also have some holy purpose, but mostly it just came as an insult to Wifey’s attempt to run the house properly. Every Wifey is house proud and the holiest thing our Husband can do is compliment Wifey and her house, or at least keep his mouth shut and broom stored away until the end of the day, not every time he walked into her humble abode.
The point is that it’s more important that Wifey shines with happiness and then the children shine with joy and then the house smells of positivity than our Husband giving into the Clean floors Syndrome.
Encounters with the kitchen counter again!
We already established in a few different ways what counts to help make Husband, Wifey happy, however we didn’t count on the numerous ways to stimulate the kitchen counter to get clearer and thrown our Husbands way. So let’s get it straight with clarity and apply the crucial lessons we just heard recently by our Husband from the infamous Rabbi Manis Friedman shlita. Did you know this special Rabbi has a brother that has brought more happiness to Wifey than almost anyone with his songs, “Avraham Fried” (just look up the Google haDor and see the story that they really are brothers). The importance of happy song and soul filling Wifey’s home time, cheering on Husband’s newly focused time, with her can’t be underestimated. Then there’s an important theme that needs private sessions on either from your close Rabbi, Guide or if you’re fortunate enough Rabbi Friedman himself. Either way we all know the desires that function in a home which are really gifts to continue on the population and reproduction of an intimate love that is beyond explanation. This is not a book for deep reflections on this subject, however, really realizing how caught up our Husband can be on having his needs met and not allowing the true spiritual focus of the oneness of their soul! Our Husband wants food, service and sole focus, when really Our Husband really needs to give food; service and soul focus on Wifey. It’s a funny paradox of this world and testing ground to who’s really spiritual and it all comes out to its full beauty with Husband, Wifey happy. How many times did our Husband wind up Wifey with his incessant needs? Causing Wifey to lose her cool and equilibrium, the messy kitchen counters ends up being emptied at her Husband and our Husband wishing he’d just kept his focus while picking up the crumbs and broken pieces on the floor. The inner message is not the reactions of our Husbands fallen head space, but rather a wakeup call to really be aware of what he’s in the world for and our Husband’s responsibility to Wifey. The deep respect our Husband has for Wifey as a special person, deserving a gentle touch and kind voice. Searching for her needs that brings to life the importance of Wifey is his first priority. Respecting the true need for her womanly space, rest and recognition as a real person!
So what about Wifey’s need to honor our Husband and build his true self esteem? To focus our Husband abilities and energies to build their family together and fulfill his purpose in the world! This is the helpmate the Torah promises, always being there for each other hopefully only to aid to each other, not to help by being against each other. To know the lacks in their relationship is what will bring out their personal greatness from the problems they face together and how they can build solid approaches to transform these lacks to peaceful completion.
The point of the relationship is to come together and refine one’s character traits. Not to burden each other with one’s problems (rather to speak to their Rabbi, trustworthy friend, Guide or Counselor), but to support and give to each other. Allowing room for true intimacy in a way that befits two long lost souls that yearn to be joined in eternal unity! Just like our people’s long exile which will be resolved with everlasting unity with our Creator and Beloved with a dwelling place in this world, soon in our days amen!
So you may ask what this to do with the kitchen sink and counter, well the answer is obvious, everyone enjoys a good meal Yom Tov style, even
G-d gets nachus at Happy Wifey, Husband!
This message of unity and peace needs some basic guidelines that too many people know already and are part of daily life. Not to be taken for granted that G-d Himself created man and woman, Husband and Wifey. He gave us instructions that capture the true sense of real relationships that build eternal homes. This is all based on the foundation of Holiness and Purity. Whether you have had the opportunity to taste the pleasure of true Torah relationships it’s definitely filled with richness and depth that all people could learn from and Jews are obligated to keep. In its essential honesty and real sensitivity to Husband and Wifey role together – “to build the world with happiness”, amen.
Children are an inspiration too!
Hope the new times we are in aid your goal of having real relationships. The on-line friend deepens our connection to everyone and no-one. Really it’s all just a link in the chain to actualize the on-line time to truly meet and face yourself and friend.
For those lucky few who still hold out from on-line chats may you find much success in all you do, but be at as it may, children are still potentially protected from the false kind of relationships we settle for all to easily. We really have to learn from those around us, as this is true wisdom compelled with the humility to see the good in all we do and connect with, especially Husband and Wifey…
We join together and see “the beyond this world power” of reproduction brings out the perfect continuation of what our Husband and Wifey manifest in their journey together. Every child comes with its own soul, sustenance and unique personality and needs perfectly molded for each parent’s personal growth. Every child knows what it needs and will go out of its way to get it no matter what! It’s almost like the animals fight for survival alongside a child intrinsic spiritual will to do this child’s personal mission no matter what. We have to remember and recall the purity of a child demanding proper attention and its lack of baggage to prevent the child’s need for real relationships. Of course this can be spoiled and it happens often by lack of care and attention from the parents. We all know that a child will only so many times ask for parental care and conversation about personal private needs and these important opportunities mustn’t be missed.
At all costs, gird your loins, (our Husband likes this old scool language) and grab this precious gift of real relationships, amongst friends and family. Don’t be part of those of folly that blow this diamond moment of connection just for some cheap on-line thrills or momentary slip towards money opportunities that were never meant to be. Our Husband more than many knows the casualties of miss placed youth and fallen dark world of drugs or worse lifestyles, G-d should protect us all.
So our Husband comes home from another frustrating day from work. Tired and drained from the online barter and bus-line banter, hungry and worn from lack of food, he really starts to see his life in the full positive flow that it goes. Our Wifey tiredly after a day of chasing little ones from destruction, and a house that has seen better order, prepares the food to stick in our Husband’s mouth as he walks through the door. Our Husband being a good student applies the advice from years ago of eating before coming home, but another quick bite before he opens his mouth always allows for more positive flow of words. The little ones smile and cry, happy to see their Tatty/Father/Dad/Pops, but at the same time happy to share their burden’s and war wounds from brotherly love. Our Husband has learned to smile, kiss and hug, turn a blind eye to any chaos. Wifey has a million things she needs to say but usually that will have to wait till after bed time, the point is children need their attention and focus. Love builds love, and our generation needs bucket loads. The question you may ask where is our Husband and Wifey able to get the energy to do all this giving and sharing their time with love. This is a good question and can be simply answered with their giving and love to each other which needs to start from their moment of Husband and Wifey’s creation.
Husband responsible not to lose this World and the next!
Let’s see where our Husband went wrong as its more fun this way and cathartic for are holy Wifey’s, on a daily basis the children our rarely handed over to his control and responsibility. Our Husband is way too focused on where he needs to go and other important pulls to really make the children feel secure. Are we being too hard on our Husband? No, as listen to this, one time many years ago our little children would come with our Husband to learn with a special Old Rabbi and Judge/Dayan. The class was next to one of the biggest Shul’s/Synagogue/World prayer center in the world. The children came excitingly to witness this holy meeting get a good Zach/sweet and enjoy the buzz of being with Daddy/Tatty. Now our Tatty our Husband was one of those guys that like to Chup/grab a quick afternoon Mincha/prayer service, and in this world center you could find a group of men/minyan very easily. While our Husband Chupped and ran from the bathroom back to the prayer room, while drinking a tea, phoning a friend, greeting a pal and giving charity to the one of many collectors there, our children got lost in the midst of Tatty’s positive chaos. Our children were unsure what to do and got more and more lost in the endless corridors, and as time went by they decided to walk the long walk home along highways and parks without their Tatty. Our Husband was going nuts with worry, and out of fear for our Wifey’s wrath of losing her precious ones was scared to phone her. A friend of our Husband saw our children walking along a road by themselves; he helped them cross the road and sent them in the right direction towards their home. In the meanwhile after running around the huge World center and accepting defeat our Husband phoned home. Wifey asked in an everything is fine voice “How are the kids doing” while the children who had in the meanwhile returned home were shaking and traumatized breathlessly in front of her. Our Husband innocently replies, “They’re doing great Wifey, they’re enjoying every minute, we will be home soon”. Our Wifey responds a bit more irate “but there all standing right in front of me!” She continues, “Why?” Asked Wifey, “How?”, “What?”, “When?” and “You complete idiot etc. etc.”! So thank G-d, the little ones have a heavenly protection and made it home, but every Husband needs to be more responsible to make Wifey and Children securely happy!
The treats that are healthy Husbands and the bagels and ice coffees that are Wifey’s!
We already introduced our Husband’s top advice to make sure that the beast is well fed before returning to Wifey at home with a song on his lips and smile in his eyes. However, we didn’t mention an even important guide to Happy Wifey; Happy Husbands need to buy Treats that are healthy, with exceptions bagels and ice coffees, constantly checking before returning home if there is anything needed food wise specifically before returning home. We’re talking about real whole wheat bagels filled with healthy Tuna and Salad, real ice coffees made from a machine that ice cream like froth pours forth with at least a ton of Nescafe coffee added and milk that even in the holy land was added fresh that day! Now salads go down very well even on a rainy day, as long as its assortments include bagels and Tuna, and don’t forget the ice coffee. Hot meals are a requisite to healthy happy homes especially during the pregnancies. Truth be told, your Husband needs to be prepared to travel far, at any time at night, any kinds of food, with any kind of mixes of the most unusual foods. And then there’s Shabbos /the day of rest and pleasure, including Chocolate nuts, Binah magazine, flowers that come ready to go. As flowers bought on the street is usually an unappreciated waste of money as they require Wifey with pruning, preparing fresh water and vase, while remembering to chuck the droopy flowers out before the mid-week stink. Our Wifey goes for the almost real fake flower look which requires the minimum of tender loving care. Like we said the main thing in the home is the focus that relationship shines with the Husband, Wifey and children all having time for each other, before all the extra desired goods. Not undermining the amazing power of homemade Challos over bought Challos, rather which the main Shabbos treat are yummy children. Its true getting the candles ready by our Husband is all part of the holy rectification of bringing more light into the home, especially when Wifey lights them 20-40 minutes before sunset depending on which country you live. The main point to remember is being more generous to each other, as this will be our Husbands for sure brownie points winner, e.g. kindly buying lunch before the Shabbos rush or pizza after a long chaotic day. Making many hot drinks shouldn’t be underestimated, as the power of warmth this generates, even when its decaf, for hot chocolate addicts, and healthy homemade cookies all add to the connected spirit that our Husband and Wifey build. Food is a must with relationship building, as whoever heard of a successful business deal without a business lunch first, a Lchaim to seal the deal and an even bigger Lchaim after the money of the deal comes in. We are not talking about before alcohol anonymous type treats, but rather healthy treats that bridge unity that is long lasting healthy satiation with a smile.
We all need a guide to make sense of “Husband, Happy Wifey”
Thank G-d for friends and constructive criticism. Like everything in the whole picture of life and history of man, our Creator and ultimate Guide gave us a complete helping hand to get it right. Every day comes our way huge amount of instructions and sign posts of what’s the right way to go with our life and important relationships. Our Husband on a recent bus journey was revealing his inner yearning to have a happy home. Our Husband had the good fortunate to be pointed towards this guide “Husband, happy Wifey”. Astounded as he read this important Guide he realized how much it applied to himself and would be good for Wifey too. The problem is that many Husbands feel above these kind of Guides, but he hoped that like his friend who had recommended him this important Guide, his friend’s Wifey had been the one to push this Husband to gain from the advice within. Our Husband started to ponder all the different points as he went from bus journey to journey, after day to day challenges. The abstract points and stories of the Guide definitely needed more clarification, so after our Husband contacted the Guide himself, was able to clearly learn from the Guide and other sources he suggested, how to apply this much needed crucial focus. However, our Husband was left with a burning question “What about Wifey’s? Do they never make mistakes? Are we to consider them perfect and is all the hard work on us Husbands?”
The Shidduch (finding a life partner) Guide in short!
Wow so our Husband left you above with a burning question, so all let’s recap again. “What about Wifey’s? Do they never make mistakes? Are we to consider them perfect and is all the hard work on us Husbands?” The answer is simply “Yes” Wifey’s mistakes is simply marrying our Husband. Not that they weren’t meant to be, like people use Beshert/ Destined, once Husband and Wifey is married, there is no going back. For sure this is going to require a whole chapter if not book in itself, to clarify Wifey’s mistake. And you are all welcome right now to provide the means to go ahead and clarify this point. But for now my close friend of our Husband is pointing us at a more pressing ?. Before Husband and Wifey there are our Single/half souls = Young men and Young women. And our good friend wanted to know five simple points how to get married and find the Shidduch/Wifey/Life partner without too much delay. It’s not that the Guide and friends is rushing you, and it will all develop together in the right time with prayer and dedicated effort. For sure we all await that special moment of clarity with our chosen soulmate. Like Rebbe Nachman draws a comparison to the breaking of a glass at the wedding agreement, where there is a spark of clarity that only the final union will clarify. It’s like a flash in the world of dark night wandering through time and for a moment glimpsing at the correct path eternally chosen. And then gone we resume the hidden element of two souls yearning to find each other and become one with all its awesome shine and brilliance.
Therefore, let’s in short begin these five points which with G-d’s help, were chosen with a moment of divine Midnight rabbi inspiration and which in the right time will gain more clarification and explanation.
The big Guide of souls
The big Choice
4. To know yourself and soul to find your soul mate. 5. Happiness/Simcha
The first point is the big Guide of souls and matches!
The meeting of two souls requires a lot of Divine inspiration of being in the right place at the right time with the right family and friends. However, the most important clarity is needed for these two souls to really feel right for each other. See in a prev. chapter where we already gave an example how this was so for our Husband and Wifey to meet each other and go on the divinely inspired journey to become engaged and married all with the Hand of G-d/ Hashem obvious to all involved that this was meant to be!
For sure this all has a requisite to some belief that there is G-d, interested in forming relationships especially between Wifey and Husband where this Divine force doesn’t cease to bring about this important Ultimate Union.
2. The importance of prayer and really from the depths of the heart wanting to form this Union with Husband and Wifey. This includes praying for our friends Shidduchim/life’s partner quest to be successful, helping set these dates up in a positive context, without distractions to what both their goals is. Once a person sees a few times how his/her prayers are answered, it becomes a part of the resolve to pray before every stage of the relationship building process. This trains a person to face him/herself honestly to focus his/her goals of union to fruition. And most importantly as we mention in point 1 to have the reality of Divine awareness of the much needed providence to smooth out the differences that are so intrinsic to our Husband’s manhood and our Wifey’s womanhood.
3. This guiding point really is the culmination of the first 2 points that manifests in the people you choose to be friends with. The Career/Job plan you choose in life. The many choices that fill our life to all are guided towards a positive goal of responsibility and mutual relationships. Giving time to others and focusing on building with people that appreciate the intrinsic you. For sure many people are making Shidduchim/Life partners young or with guidance from parents, Rabbonim, Guides and family and friends. Many people rely on the Shudchan/Matchmaker and the choice of whom and where to listen to, needs in itself much choice on the side of a thinking young man and young woman. As in the end the choice is the most important choice a person can make in this world to who their Shidduch/Life partner is and this must be truly their own serious choice.
5. Simcha is the fifth and final guiding point for now. This is the key to everything our Husband and Wifey needs for a happy home. To go ahead with calm and happy spirit will bring much more success than pressure and not happy goals. A person to be happy needs to be reminded what is this all for? Why we want real relationships and what’s the truth and point of all our efforts? To keep the picture larger in our minds, that this is part of an eternal mission, and happiness with positivity is our goal. Therefore, each stage of searching for our soul mate needs to be done with Simcha/Happiness and positive thinking, speech and deeds until we are all blessed with Husband, happy Wifey!
Wifey’s problems and the oldest sin of our Husbands, blaming Wifey!
Ok so we all were blessed to find our life partner after reading and applying the Shidduch guide before. And if we did all that’s written in the 5 point form and still didn’t see instant success then obviously part of the 5 points is patience. However, a good friend recently pointed out that not everyone is meant to achieve this Wifey and Husband world; some have to remain happy by themselves. This is beyond the scope of our book and if you want answers goes ask someone like my friend who gets on building good relationships without his Wifey for advice. Ultimately we will all find our union in the completion of Husband and Wifey spirituality.
The worst thing our Husband can do is to copy the primordial man Adam the first=the first Man/Husband. We got to all learn from history and we all know that our Husband shouldn’t listen to do everything our Wifey asks like listening to the snake and eating from the Tree of Death and Life, like the first Wifey did and then handed this very potent fruit so her Husband can join her fallen state. The mistake our Husband must try to correct is not to blame Wifey at all costs. Not to Criticize Wifey no matter what and the worst Husband head space to focus on Wifey’s problems. This isn’t the Guides advice in order to gain popularity, but rather hard earned experiences and advice from top Rabbi’s like Rabbi Shalom Arush in his important book “the Garden of Peace”. However, this fact doesn’t deny that Wifey’s don’t make mistakes; rather, there is no point to making a deal of it and even better our Husband should be honest enough to see he has what to fix. Meaning the mistakes our Husband’s our Wifey makes are all meant for our Husband to experience the consequences as a way of building character and strengthens our Husband’s honest approach to life! Therefore, the answer to the question, does Wifey make mistakes? Is it in our Husband reality? No, she’s an Aishes Chayil/ Righteous women!
Now Wifey for sure will need her inner self-improvement hard work with the advice from her Teachers and Guides, but either way our Husband will keep praising Wifey and work on all the supposed mistakes as his, now we’re really talking Husband, happy Wifey
Shabbat shalom and a good Shabbos, the second chance and secret of success to all of history!
So we already talked about returning home and opening the door with our Husband happily smiling to Wifey and the blessed kinderlach/ children/ boobalahs. Then there is a time of the week, really the climax of the week, the blessed day of rest, and the weekend, Shabbat / Shabbos. This is a whole different smile and being together with the family.
If someone not Jewish or thinking he’s not Jewish is reading this blog, then the lesson for you is simple. Please turn of your phones, gadgets, faxes, emails, iPads, iPhones, iEgo and anything else that block’s you from being really communicative and focused. Now it’s the true day of rest, the whole world centers around this special moment of meeting, with our Husband greeting happily our Wifey and children, Shabbat Shalom (everyone knows shalom means peace), “Good Shabbos and hi, how you all doing?”
Now what happens when Wifey response is not looking so good, in fact she looks exhausted and the children have made havoc. Our Husband breaths deeply smiles and begins singing Shalom Aleichem welcoming in the new Shabbos Angels for the new blessing of the week! However, sometimes our Husband is exhausted too after a rough week of exile and sweating a lot just to make a few loaves.
This culminates in real frustration of children driving each other crazy and ignoring any pleas of mercy just to sit nicely and behave with etiquette and manners. Shalom Aleichem song turns into a squeal of “sit down or else” and after a few warnings, the anticipated family together has turned into a war of wills. Our Husband has already had enough after 2 minutes at home and Wifey looks on despondently when she was already dealing with hours of hardship. “Right” screams our Husband, “off to bed you children go” and quickly like a prison guard prods all his catch off to their cell. Our children crying and pleading for mercy our unheeded and the door is closed with our Husband huffing and puffing back to a far from pleased Wifey. “I work hard the whole week” mumbles our Husband, “and we need just a little peace and quiet” not being able to look Wifey in the eyes. Wifey responds not impressed “I work hard the whole week too, and preparing the house, cloths, children and food is no small achievement, and the climax of it all, you won’t even let the children eat with us and have special family time?” “Why can’t you come home with smiles, songs and get us all into positive family mood”
Our Husband concedes defeat, slumps into the chair and calls out to our children who had already reappeared with plea’s in their eyes. “Shalom Aleichem kinder and Wifey” he jumps up smiling and claps his hand, “let’s get it right this time” Shalom Aleichem with chorus and harmony begins the take two of family time with Husband, happy Wifey.
So this story brings us to the secret of success in relationships and all world history, which hard times break ups, arguments, broken relationships and communication will bring us to a stronger and more honest deeper eternal connection. Where do we see this most strongly, other than our Husbands funny antics, Wifey knows the answer. Just look at all of Jewish history and you will see a constant picture of marital strife between us the unfaithful Wifey with our Holy Husband Hashem/ G-d. However, this always brings out a stronger bond and revelation of mercy with longing for reconnection. Our Wifey has too often overlook our Husbands constant mistakes with the view that overall their deep love for each other is what it’s all really about and all these little skirmishes are just what they are, little moments for our Husband to focus himself more. The other day our Husband really lost the plot with a mother-in-law encounter and our Wifey was left crying. We all know the oldest joke around since the beginning of time. The first man got in a lot of trouble as he had no mother-in-law to blame his behavior for. However, our Husband remembered that as his Wifey’s heart was breaking the most important thing to do is apologize from a very sincere place and placate his Wifey before it’s too late. Pleading for mercy and forgiveness our Husbands sincerity for connection turns a very bitter situation sweet. As our Husband is blessed with this take two or second chance approach, or third attempt at marital peace etc. Our Husband will now in the first place provide this constant sincere attention in positive circumstances that truly create Husband, happy Wifey with Shalom eternal more, well at least for now a nice family Shabbos/Shabbat meal together!
Builder’s stories, “Only in Israel, OII”
Someone pointed out that a recent interest online is all the funny stories that go on and there called “Only in Israel” aka OII stories. Now our Husband has had many encounters with builders and there “Only in Israel” attitude. You might ask what’s this got to do with “Husband, happy Wifey”? The answer is from every story we tell the entertainment contains important lessons. Israel is a holy land and to keep this book from getting political or religious we shall just simply say living in Israel is a struggle and these stories of “Only in Israel” don’t take away all the unbelievable advantages of living in the Holy land, rather the struggle our Husband has living here helps us appreciate this important spiritual and physical gift. Even the builders of this holy land had ancestors and a powerful place in their hearts and minds that yearns for a home that is eternal and fulfills all our deepest needs and aspirations. However, due to the chaotic temperament of these recent generations and all the tension surrounding the struggles of being in the holy land, there has been created Builders that we must call “Only in Israel”.
Our Wifey was more than excited to finally have a home in the Holy land that she can call her very own. Our Husband was excited to make Wifey happy with this prospect, but he also knew this meant some renovations and the dreaded call of a Builder to come achieve this. The agent who had found their new home also recommended highly a builder that had recently built her home. They met the Builder bob and he smiled with assurance of 100% best service and guarantee. Little did they know that his recent new work had created a short fuse which almost burned down the agent’s apartment? And the Sukkah balcony/which is formed with big metal posts with holes in between, had holes a little too big and a neighbor of the agent fell through the gaps and was almost crippled for life, G-d save us all.
Anyhow, our Husband went ahead with Builder bob aka Moishklah and slowly the plans for this palace that had to be fit in an apartment of 50 meters or less. Well living in Jerusalem the place expands as brought in our holy texts, however, that doesn’t come with architect and builders. So the first place to begin was opening up this small space to have more light and air. Ripping up the floors and redoing the piping and electrics of course promised by Builder bob all 100% best quality with eternal lifespan and the money to match the expense. Fortunately, our Husband had just inherited some extra money and done some successful fundraising deals with kind generous people so everything was paid for. Wifey was obligated in her few precious free moments to keep an eye on developments. The contract was one piece of paper that definitely should have been more professionally prepared with pages of conditions and fixed time scale for the whole project. However, “only in Israel” the Builder bob did what he could do to insure our Husband believed him with minimal words and power to enforce this 3 month plan. You see our Husband and Wifey were renting a place which they needed to leave in 3 months, otherwise there would be big costs and Builder bob assured “don’t worry 100% this will be done way before then”. The next door neighbor of this new home noticed Builder bob and hired him on the side to do some work on a new balcony. So begins Builder bob with 2 projects instead of one and up and down in the middle of Wifey’s visit asking his co-workers, where is Builder bob. They pointed downstairs working on someone else’s house. “What’s going on?” asked Wifey “100%” answered Builder bob. More and more money was needed for unexpected 100% best quality materials for the house. Time was moving and Bill and Ben the flowerpot men Builders bob’s workers were enjoying the free time they got when their boss was downstairs with the other job. Now Bill and Ben were slowly destroying any parts of furniture our Husband had begun to store in the new home with real Clutz Maisers/ Yiddish for clumsy deeds. Builder bob response was 100% “donkeys get on with the work”, but no offer of replacing or fixing any of the damage. Now our Husband whose midnight schedule didn’t allow him to keep enough an eye what was going on also made the mistake of saying to Builder bob how important it was in his role in life to see the good in what others do. Builder bob smile and responded 100% “now can I have more money thanks”. Slowly and quickly the 3 month deadline had passed, but thank G-d except for missing toilet, lights many other important necessities, Builder bob responded with come move in 100% all will be ready in no time. One month later our Husband and Wifey and children were going out of their minds with Bill and Ben using their house to eat, wash and relax and Builder bob’s assurance 100% “almost there” with a few crazy fights breaking out between our Wifey and Builder bob. Our Husband decided on drastic action paid him the rest of the owed money and said “see you later”! Builder bob reminded our Husband all 100% guaranteed and then the fun began. To be continued OII!…
List of problems our Husband and Wifey can’t forget, from Builder bob’s in short form “only in Israel” format, OII-
Every single faucet flyed of the wall at different times causing flooding in the apartment and the neighbors below, even one time on Shabbos being forced to sit without water in the meanwhile. With a real expensive plumber showing us the garbage that Builder bob used and claimed was all 100% the best.
Builder bob enjoyed his imagination claiming stories like the kids were jumping on the faucets when the oldest was only five years old.
Hot tap not working with the handle to turn on and off water the wrong way round.
The security gate bars fell out when our 1 and a half year old banged it closed, which was repeated numerous times, and every time Builder bob 100% came to fix it, it fell off again, some security gate!
The Balcony bar falling out with 4th floor drop and a hole created that a little child could G-d forbid fall through.
The lock on the balcony door was broken and Builder bob claimed needed replacing the door completely, which repairman years later replaced in 5 minutes.
The divider door in the main Dining room which was meant to be opened fully to make the room bigger was made the wrong way round and wouldn’t be fixed by Builder bob to open properly.
The bathroom built in the bedroom with not enough space for beds, when Builder bob claimed 100% “there’s room”.
The front door handle broke after a few weeks, 100% guaranteed.
The aluminum boards used to enclose part of the balcony were not put in right and almost fell over and killed G-d forbid passer by’s. Builder bob came and fixed it sticking the same amazing 100% glue and cloth pegs in the gaps that will hold it forever, not.
The electricity for the washing machine and dryer was only one plug. Builder bob claimed that there was enough connection for the dryer which burned out and almost caused a fire. Which the Builder bob came and botched up a jimmy-fix-it, with our Husband’s extension cord with some holes in the wall, and Walla, all in a matter of minutes.
Every time our Husband and Wifey phoned to come fix this and that, Builder bob responded “100% I’m on the way” and only showed up weeks later, with interesting sob stories and smiles of 1000 apologies.
Every time he came he would gaze at his masterpiece and he asked even to send people as an advertisement for his great work.
And our Husband wasn’t free of Builder bob as every day he would turn up to fix things in the building which all ended up broken and short lasting.
There are more things to mention like faulty light fittings which weren’t guaranteed 100% and Builder bob took a year to check them out while our children sat in darkness. And after a year Builder bob came and said oh sorry the guarantee 100% is over as it was only for a year.
And with the Sukkah boards that needed to be stored coincided with a child being run over in the street, thus causing Builder bob to be the savior and he never made it back to help store them properly to test the place he mistakenly built way too high up.
All our Husband and Wifey can say is thank G-d for Builder bob and “only in Israel” where we are guaranteed 100% a big reward in the next world for all these tests and trials.
One thing to add was Builder bob sometimes worked with his cool children and they added to the party more than Bill and Ben with real unprofessional botch up jobs while enjoying free drinks on our bill on tap.
To sum up the “only in Israel” OII, the house warming party to coincide with our Husbands students before they left to America, was in a house with no lighting and toilet. And even then we already told you about the botched up toilet story at the beginning of the book where the plumbing used to get blocked way to easily. And a Rebbe who usually only said well about everything, commented on the lack of lighting out of worry for our Husband’s situation. The students loved the blackout effect and as all good Husbands, especially our Husband tried his best to make happy Wifey OII.
“The moving house too many times stories”, “only in Israel”, OII!
So who wants to own up and like our Husband admit how much torture can he put Wifey through. Everyone knows whose moved house knows how hard and traumatic it is. Some even compare moving house to having a baby. Now try growing up moving house numerous times, then finally finding our Husband, getting married hoping to settle and instead moving several times while having numerous babies several times. After years of child rearing and moving house life can get a bit tense and wearisome. Our Wifey did find comfort that everywhere she moved she had the best and most efficient movers around “Eliezer’s movers” (a good name don’t you think?). These giant men of wonder took apart and more importantly put back together with more efficiency as the A-team on a good day (old scool team of professional fix it soldiers). However, every apartment they moved our Husband and Wifey, the children got more and bigger and so did the burden of belongings. It’s a whole story to pack everything up and it requires our Husband to run around collecting loads of boxes for a few weeks from all the local stores. A recent move our Husband even stored the boxes ready for the next move. So you may have asked what that has got to do with only in Israel? But this is the point, living in Israel unless you can find with a good mazel and a lot of money behind you, our Husband never could find the perfect apartment to settle. After many years of searching from neighborhood to community, renting and seeing the rent go up more and more, it was time to buy a home. Even their bought home in Jerusalem that they owned was only 50 meters and after a few children and few years unless you’re a native Yerushalmi/ local from Jerusalem after generations of living with little belongings in small spaces, our Wifey and co. had out grown their home. The next step is to move out of rising in expensive Jerusalem to a local town nearby where supposed cheaper homes could be found. However, this too is seeing prices go up as Obama and his friends have a put a hold on more building, with the supply and demand rule the prices fly up with no restraint. Alongside these new laws on property make buying an apartment more difficult and getting a mortgage with the Israeli low wage reality harder and harder. So left with renting and ongoing moves our Wifey is far from happy about this. You might ask here why our Husband can’t have long term rentals, well the answer are only in Israel! OII rule is that people want short term rentals where either they can put up the price with regular new renters, or they move their children into the previous rented apartment. The advice from the Guide to our Husband is to try and settle the family into one home, either by buying a home big enough for 120 years on this world, or to finding an owner who unusually will be fair and long term with the rent and at a good price. This also assumes finding a good community to settle in which helps a lot with the kindness and friendship they bring. For example, our Husband found a community that after having a baby and moving house, each situation the families of the community will make them meals for lunch and supper for a full week and Shabbos. This helps a lot to provide our Wifey the needed support to settle in, this is also something of the OII balance towards good of kindness and support of the people around our Wifey.
We can go on, but the main advice for our Husband is to be there for Wifey throughout any traumatic stage in life and being kind in word and deed to show our Husbands eternal love to make Wifey happy where ever they live or move OII.
The importance of real guidance and 3 kinds of help that our Husband can value Wifey’s help more!
Let’s all admit the truth that we all need help!
Dovid Hamelech /the King of Israel and sweet singer divinely inspired sang/ wrote himself that “we all need help”. “And from where will my help (mate) come from”! Wifey herself is called an Aizer / helpmate (In the story of Creation at the beginning of the Torah). Everyone finds the mate part easy, but to help someone else this is a real challenge. So now we can understand the words from our sweet singer (listen to Yosef Karduner sing psalm 121 and be moved by the feeling behind these special words). This brings our Husband to recall, somewhere inside our Husband memories, deep in his mind and heart a time with Wifey before being called Wifey where the emotions were alive with warmth and excitement of potential unity. This was years ago on their 1st date when our Husband sang and covered this song of psalm 121 in a public setting back then. Our Wifey’s heart opened up to these words and potential soul mate, in divinely inspired timing and song “mayin yavor ‘Ezri” (i.e. translated from Hebrew deeply to mean, “where is my helpmate,”) and these choice timed words our yet to be Husband sang knowing that his 1st date ever was fortunately with his soul mate forever! These words explained above are from psalm 121, titled “Shir lemalot” appropriately, meaning songs that bring us upward!
Wifey is described in the story of Creation as an Eizer Knegdo/ a help mate. Some define this description as a help mate either by Wifey really helping and aiding our Husband do his role, or by Wifey going against our Husband if he misbehaves and thereby coercing him to do His role. Either way, we say that we all need help and the more focus our Husband is on the help (mate), the better. Obviously we know the best help we can find will be from the One who knows our needs the most and can provide them too and who is that you may ask? That is for-sure the Ultimate Guide the Creator of us all. The Ultimate Guide provided us with generations of Guides like His most loyal servant, King David the sweet singer and dedicated one to Israel. This is all amazingly within one line explained already all hinted to in the same deep line mentioned above while summarizing these concepts again for the sake of memory and clarity;
1. Help from beyond yourself with application,
2. The helpmate reality and constantly finding and supporting your helpmate with actual kindness and help!
And lastly but most importantly
3. One’s self-help.
This should be noted by our musical Husband’s friends, as an indication to the best song writer of all time, King David. Not only did he sing and write and guide his people in his time, but left us with a guide book for all time. Musically we can’t imagine how this psalm 121 originally sounded and we all hope and yearn that soon we will hear music again from King David that will put beyond shame the music world today back to silence. Our Husband can see from this 1st line from psalm 121 and the advice we gain mentioned above, how importantly deep the words and the guidance therein. While reminding our Husband this is just one of many such lines in Psalms, and admitting we can’t understand and truly grasp or learn without later generation Guides explaining for us the infamous psalms and its depths! Our Husband’s friend Ari Lesser publically mentioned his whole spiritual awakening came from the power of rapping Psalms. However, to return to our Husband’s point and as pointed out before, there are the guides below too. The more skilled these guides are in providing help the better. One of the ways guides can help is after much personal experiences and training. We all could use some extra advice or even basic advice especially when it comes to the most important objectives in life like Husband, happy Wifey!
To really know who the right person to guide us is a gift from above and like our Husband was taught earlier in this guide, sincere prayer with inner knowledge is the most powerful tool he has to achieve this and anything important in life. A certain realization that the most important person for our Husband to help first is to help himself, as Hillel said in the ‘Sayings of our Father’s’ “If I am not for myself then who will be for me, and if not now then when?” Our Husband repeats these words again and again like a mantra and dedicates himself to truly come to self-help so he can then give properly to Wifey what she really needs. Wifey is generally someone who is always a successful helpmate, no matter what her situation. Then together our Husband and Wifey can help their children, and then their neighbors, then their city, then the whole world, just as the Sanzer Rov “the Divrei Chaim” once said! (May all these holy souls’ merits and sagely advice help us all)! Our Husband himself realized that the Divrei Chaim was always busy with helping the Divrei Chaim truly as a way to succeed before helping anybody else. As anyone who knows about the Divrei Chaim, knows he did truly help the world beyond words and with no selfish motives. So our Husband is helping himself by reading and living the Guide and seeking out real true good healthy beyond selfish advice to help himself.
And Wifey? Well Wifey always has been a seeker looking for the truth and the help needed. Wifey didn’t need a Guide to wake her up to her healthy help filled mission. Sometimes Wifey went to professionals who when they connected deeply was truly helpful. Wifey used these sessions talking out her pain and growing from the struggles she faced and overcame of growing up in a world of broken hearts and homes. Wifey knew her essence and this kept her striving to face her issues and still function as a Wife and Mother.
It comes down to accepting a huge change of thought and reality as what is the real true success for Wifey and our Husband?
The answer is simply an intense struggle itself is the real true success for our Husband and Wifey. The clarity to help ourselves with real true advice to become whole healthy happy people that can truly become One. This slight pain filled struggle is never worth avoiding and in some way will have to be accomplished through our Husbands positive choices and hard self-help or his negative circumstances that force out a desired result albeit in tremendous pain. Our Husband favorite author and scholar, the holy Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin once divinely inspired wrote over 100 years ago in his book Pri Tzakick / fruit of Righteousness’, “there is the challenge of positive self-help of facing yourself with truth and love, or forced negative self-correction of facing yourself with suffering,” either way we all our destined to return to our true self either with positive help or suffering and pain. Let our Husband choose wisely and Wifey struggle inspired in a way that brings them closer together. Our Husband as depicted in our only in Israel stories, OII has to be Wifey’s receiving support from our Husband. With this approach of healthy helpful soulful self-growth from our Husband and Wifey, and us learning from the Guide practically, G-d will help us all to inspire us all to seek the Ultimate Help and see Unity revealed help in our relationships together!
The struggle that unites us all, especially our Husband and Wifey!
“Our Husband and Wifey were living almost 20 years happily, (pause) before they met each other!”
Everyone knows that as times goes on the struggles of mankind get more intense and potentially stressful. It takes tremendous will and focus to ignore all the growing distractions and be in a peaceful state of mind and heart. Every person hopefully honestly grows and struggles, especially our Husband and Wifey, to find this point of unity and happiness. It has been already explained that marriage is building a family and requires real struggle and determination. Not giving up is the only option and our Husband and Wifey have realized that humor is a life saver amongst this entire struggle. As a special Rebbe and teacher in Jerusalem recently said “Go ahead and smile,” in fact he exhumes Happiness and Humor in all he does. This Rebbe has given many a time needed advice to our Husband and Wifey encouraging them to appreciate each other’s inherent goodness and qualities. This Rebbe even phoned our Husband and Wifey Erev-Pesach (the busiest time of year are the days before Passover, even the days Passover in haste!) to make sure our Husband’s focus is on our Wifey and is filled with compliments and inspiration! So how can our Husband entertain us with more tales of woe with a smile? Stories of struggle that in-liven us all to our chosen mission in this world with a laugh. As this Rebbe once said all Americans love to laugh and the question is how can we struggle and still keep our sense of humor and joy, and not just laugh for laughing sake. As our Husband is always trying to avoid and escape the struggle. This means our Husband need to laugh more and it should be with content, not acting offline or out of line and posting online with nonsense. This also means deep thought and sharp wit, not at anyone’s expense, rather at our selfish, escapist evil inclinations loss!
This Rebbe is helping with every part of our Husband and Wifey’s life, kind words of inspiration and prayer help in ways beyond words. However, the bottom line is our Husband and Wifey need to struggle themselves in the daily battle to believe and survive this intense time of spiritual, emotional and financial upheaval.
Our Husband won’t burden you with the details as it’s already known without too much expansion. As all the stories of upheaval these days are exposed and public knowledge, including the endless challenges of today’s world and individuals. The newspapers and media themselves already emphasize way too much the negative aspects of the struggle or lack of it. But everyone reading this Guide all know, just as our Husband and Wifey know, deep down the inner struggle to be a real success and achieve happiness seems almost beyond reach. Little do we realize how much everyone is going through the same eternal struggle just to progress a little more in our own homes and selves? Talking to others our Husband and Wifey realize time and time again how much this is a struggle that unites us all. A group called Struggle group inspired, offers daily posts of struggles with people like our Husband and Wifey. These daily struggle constantly remind other people that this is a struggle we are truly experiencing together. This all is really awakening something inside us all, whether it’s wanted yes or no. Our Husband and Wifey spend much time opening others to their struggles, while growing together in their own struggles. The biggest comfort is amongst all the struggles we go through together, is that the struggle itself is the main purpose of why we are all here! If we can laugh, smile, sing and still dance after every struggle, or even better during every struggle itself then we have achieved something really important and made big headway in our Husband’s struggle together with Wifey. Now they both have met after almost 20 years of lack of struggles together, they learn to enjoy the struggle of Husband, Wifey happy!
The need for laughter and joy for our happy souls today and soul matey’s
Every Jewish Simcha / Chassonah – wedding / Brit – circumcision / Pidyon Haben – redemption of the firstborn / Bar-Bat Mitzvah meal / Engagement meal and many much more ways of celebrating more unity and togetherness with the famous psalms 126 “Shir Hamalot” before Birkas Hamozen – Grace after meals. We all sing this together at these auspicious moments and need to think about the meaning and depth of the holy words of Dovid Hamelech – the King and sweet singer of Israel – “then our mouths will be filled with laughter and tongues with song of joy”. Our Husband loves singing this holy song especially for Wifey. He jokes that maybe when the Messiah / Moshiach comes finally he will realize the dream of Happy Wifey and then all the tears and hard work will be worth it, until then our Husband has to just believe it is all for the good. As psalm 126 goes on to inspire us with the famous words “Hzorim Bdimah, Brinah Yiksoru – We plant seeds with tears, and harvest with joyous song”.
Our Husband has a family member who runs a well-known circus and is the main performer as a spiritual laughing clown. Our Husband talks with his clown relative about the importance of bringing people to smile, and others to laugh. Obviously this clowning is planned with a spiritual goal to bridge the body to the soul and in the meanwhile makes fun of all the foolish realities of this earthly world of mostly lies and falsehood. Talking to the clown inside of us we reveal the power of song and positive energy within! Which heavenly gift of joy was given to our Husband in order to provide much motivation to light up his home and Wifey? Not to be wasted on our Husband’s crew and boys just to be known as the funny one – Chevra man for the sake of his pride. Rather our Husband has to harness this special gift of humor and positivity to praise and lighten his Wifey’s load. The Torah itself only allows us to make fun of false ways, not to make fun of important excepted modes of life. The world around us is focused way too much on being an entertainer and wise guy. Simply put our Husband can simplify his interaction with Wifey with a light heartiness and warmth, deeply enjoying the time they share and not allowing the heaviness of issues they face to take away the sweet moments together. We’re not talking about escapism, but rather dealing with our challenges with joy and a sense of humor that allows our Husband and Wifey to rise above the issues of life together with true belief and deep knowledge that it will all be good!
THE REAL TRUTH OF OUR HUSBAND GIVING SINCERE LOVE TO WIFEY!
This is now the most important part of our Guide together, where we really get focused on what our Husband and Wifey’s whole relationship is all about. It is time to remember that even the Guide himself has to get advice from more experienced Guides and hear if the Guide himself is applying what he is helping our Husband with. This is the heart of the matter and needs our full focus and attention. This implies that you reading this has learned already from our Husband funny tales of woe (he jokes to himself, Woman is made up of Woe man and even worse expression of the lack of holiness in the English language, his Wifey hormones made up of Hoare moans). But we must leave these silly jokes aside and keep focused on our Guide getting his heart and knowledge from holy refined more intelligent living examples of Guides. People who honor his Wifey like the Divine presence (in the holy tongue the ancient Hebrew and very much alive description of man and woman is Ish and Isha, which in this holy vernacular contains between these two words when joined together in the union of marriage the way we are Guided, reveal the holy letters of the name of G-d, yud and heh = Kah). The Queen-ship of Wifey would become his most important priority no matter what. The most holy and important agreement in any person’s life to commit under a Chuppa / Wedding canopy with two witlessness, in a Kesubah / Wedding agreement, for our Husband to truly give Wifey, clothing, connection and a home to live together. Our Husbands binds himself as “it’s not good to be alone” and becomes someone that isn’t egocentric but rather selfless. Our Husband must give and display that Wifey is his Priority no matter what and this deal us until 120 years meaning forever. Our Husband is no longer selfish and wanting his needs met. Our Husband must truly give over the real deep sincere love that every Wifey is given the intrinsic knowledge to know if it’s sincere or not! A love that is from our Husbands heart and expresses itself in his thoughts, speech and deeds, Every morning our Guides Guide wakes up thanking G-d for a new day of life and for his Wifey. This is true life to live happy with Wifey. Especially such a gift of a Wifey like this! What is the heart of the matter our Husband needs to master to really make Wifey truly happy? Let’s define this love as real dedication and giving to another person so they intrinsically feel the altruism in the love. Simply put the love our Husband gives is in order to bring out a mutual deep bonding love that our Wifey truly knows she is his priority in life. This love from our Husband to Wifey will fill up Wifey with positivity that she will wake up in the morning feeling loved when she looks at her husband and give her strength to do almost anything the whole day. The love our Husband clearly communicates daily will over time allow Wifey to send of our Husband to do his entire world saving jobs, life changing goals and money making schemes with her true consent and blessings. Our Husband puts asides all the distractions and false friendships etc. and our Husband with Wifey truly feeling loved, will create a team and life together that can turn any huge struggle in this potentially problematic world to just a positive challenge they can together both overcome.
Life begins to smile and difficulties that previously overwhelming a family, suddenly our Husband’s and Wifey’s really focused on each other, open their married eyes and see together they can overcome all obstacles to peaceful homes. Our Wifey and Husband’s children begin to feel the love that truly feels the hearts and home and suddenly all their inner tension and attention seeking subsides. Our children feel this true love and the positive belief in themselves through our Wifey’s renewed self-esteem in her marriage and the point of our Guide has been achieved. Our Husband true love Wifey happy!
Our Husband’s parent in-laws, and some say outlaws!
Our Husband has got to be careful here as Wifey and her mafia family are not afraid to even knock off our Husband if he behaves like a snitch. But we all remember the famous joke that the first man of Creation, Adom Harishon, had it good, no mother in law, no outlaws just a beautiful gift the first Wifey, Nevertheless, our Husband for sure needs advice and guidance how to successfully navigate the other side, in mysticism, the other side is symbolic of the dark side / the side of evil / the side that ignores direct divine providence and not coincidentally is the word for his in-laws. “Shver” in Yiddish is the word for father-in-law, and also means “very difficult” in our holy tongue of Hebrew! The first father-in-laws of our holy Avos / Patriarchs, Jewish forefathers, Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, weren’t such an easy beginning to the world of father-in-laws. The list is Haran, Bethuel and Laavan Harami / who we all know we’re trying to destroy the spark of goodness that exist in our people, either with poison, endless hard labor and for sure a good old fashion argument with curses, may we all be protected. So let’s be fair to Haran, Sarah Emainu’s our Matriarch father, that he did show support to his nephew and son-in-law by following him into the fire of Nimrod, the problem is he didn’t emerge alive, so that was the end of a supportive father-in-law who was burned alive. Now with Eliezer the ultimate Shadchan / matchmaker who brought together Yitzchak and Rivkah under the eyes of her evil father and brother, whose father Bethuel poisoned himself in an attempt to kill the matchmaker. And Laavan the trickster who threatened his holy son–in-law Yaakov and four wives with a threat to their inner well-being. Yaakov built himself a protection by not allowing his father-in-law to come near, with a covenant between them at Gal Ed. This is for our Husband a tough lesson of distance and struggles with parent-in-laws in the Torah. But all this is before the Torah was given to our forefathers and mothers. Our Husband can learn from Moshe Rabbeinu / our teacher about the right kind of father-in-law and the right way to honor him! Moshe our teacher served his father-in-law Yisro when he came with Moshe’s wife and children with tremendous honor. Moshe was the King of the Jewish people of the Generation in the dessert and served all who attended the welcoming meal for Yisro the convert with humility and love. Our Wifey can learn from Ruth / Rus the convert who honored her mother Naiomi even if it meant following and helping her in a place and time of no hope and destitution. In the end our Wifey sees even in this world that Rus dedication paid off in all ways, when she married the leader of the generation and was blessed with generations of Kings from King Dovid and King Shlomo / Solomon the wisest of men. What our Husband and Wifey can learn from these all important eternal lessons is to deal with whatever parent-in-laws our Creator gives us. To make the best of the out-laws to either bring them in or know when it’s truly time for our Husband and Wifey to listen to the first Torah commandment, to join into one flesh truly. Too leave their homes and build their own special home where they can come to a healthy oneness and unity forever more that even the mother-in-law of the first man that never was, and would be proud of!
Please forgive me, Moishelah!
Everyday is a new time to make Peace in the home. Peace definitely doesn’t come by itself, it takes hard work and a lot of patience and dedication for both our Wifey and Husband. Forgiveness is the key for both sides to function properly. Everyone knows that we are all human and make mistakes. Everyone knows that women find it hard to forget and truly forgive each other completely. And the Guide wants our Wifey to truly forgive our Husband for writing this book / blog, however you can all have a part in this continuing!
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With sincere thanks the Guide himself with blessings and thanks to source of all inspiration, Our Creator himself!