Chris’s Diary

It’s the day after dad shot himself, I am still processing the truth about his actions and most of all about Larry. I still can’t forgive dad for what he did and we are having a funeral for him, how am I suppose to speak or even be there after what he did. Mom is still in shock, I mean I understand her, he shot himself with a shotgun. She told me, no urged me to move on, to “forget” and to “live” but how can I leave it all behind now, imagine how Larry felt, how I feel. I haven’t even thought about Ann, what’s going on with her now, probably trying to help mom. I can’t even imagine how she felt about finding out what happened to Larry. I am supposed to be working on writing a speech for the funeral but I can’t get my mind right, I can’t translate the thoughts about him into words. If I could say one last thing to him, I would forgive him. Knowing what happened to Larry, what he caused to happen to his own son and living with that truth all that time, the guilt must have almost killed him and that letter from Larry sent him over the edge. I think I know what I have to write.