A Palestinian Classic

Once upon a time, in the Palestinian city of Ramallah, two boys, Muhammed and Mahmmud, lived in a small apartment with their family.

They had 3 sisters: Mahmmuda aged 13, Fatma aged 15 and Lital aged 18. Mahmmud and Muhammed were twins aged 16. Their mom’s name was Farah, aged 31.

Their father, Avihay, died in a peaceful demonstration and left the family with a massive economic debt, because of his addiction to alcohol, which cost a lot of money.

Avihay’s death made Muhammed and Mahmmud strengthen their religious connection to Allah, hence they swore to him that they will die for him, in order to get to heaven.

Muhammed is smart and Mahmmud is strong, their plan is to combine their individuals strenghts to get the job done.

Muhammed has spent weeks planning the attack, and he decided that tommorow afternoon is the best time to execute his plan: 80 percent of all troops and police officers have a 20 minute lunch brake, which means that they will be facing less men than a morning attack or an evening attack.

To add to that, today their order from the town’s weapon men, Ahmed, arrives.

The next day,the family sits down to eat breakfast, they don’t know about the two brothers’ plan.

“Mahmmud, will you come with me to step on snails today?” asked Mahmmuda.

“I can’t, Muhammed and I need to tell to all of you something important” replied Mahmmud.

“what is it?” asked Lital?

“We’re going on a mission to kill the jews today, we won’t come back”. said Mahmmud.

Silence filled the room, the family was in shock.

Farah looked at her young men with tear in her eyes and said: “That’s what Avihay would have wanted you to do, i’m proud of you.”

“Bye mom” said Mahmmud as they left.

“May Allah have mercy on you” screamed Farah as their sons drove away.

It’s time to execute the plan.

“First stop, Ahmed” said Muhammed.

“Ahmed? the weapon guy, we don’t have enough money to buy guns from him.” said Mahmmud.

“Thats ok, I robbed an elderly man yesterday, we have enough money to buy 2 pocketknives.” replied Muhammed.

“Thats my bro” said Mahmmud while laughing.

“Come, we arrived” said Muhammed.

“Muhammed, nice to see you, did you bring my money?” asked Ahmed.

“Here you go, 500 shekels” said Muhammed.

“Good, here are the goods”. said Ahmed.

“Good, now give me the money or I will cut your neck in half” said Muhammed while pointing one of the pocketknives to Ahmed’s neck.

“Sheeeeesh” said Mahmmud, with great pride towards his brother.

This won’t end good for you, you know I am a like a king in this city”. said Ahmed with anger.

“I know, but we won’t be here tommorow” said Muhammed.

“AHHHHHH” screamed Ahmed, as Mahmmud punched him in the face, making him unconsious.

“What have you done to Ahmes??” said two men coming from far away.

“Take the money and run!” screamed Muhammed at Mahmmud.

The brothers get in the car, but the men are behind them, shooting at them with guns they took from Ahmed’s garage.

A chase like this was never been seen before in this city, the gunshots injured many citizens who walked on the sideways.

“We reached dead end!” screamed Mahmmud.

“Run!” yelled Muhammed.

“Now you die” One of the men yelled at them

“Allah akbar” the men screamed.

Nothing happens. The gun is out of bullets!

“Take a pocketknive and kill him” yelled Muhammed at Mahmmud.

“Allah akbar” yelled Mahmmud while stabbing the men to death.

“Lets go now, quick” said Muhammed as they got in the car.

“Where are we going now?” asked Mahmmud.

“We are going to a friend of mine, his name is Saed, he offered to sell me work permits to go to israel for cash, that’s why I got us into this trouble, he is a nice guy, there shouldn’t be any problems.” said Muhammed

“Where do you know him from?” asked Mahmmud.

“His father was dad’s friend, I met him in a demonstration  near the gate a couple of years ago.” replied Muhammed.

“Ok, no problem, just wanted to make sure” said Mahmmud.

After driving for 20 minutes, Muhammed and Mahmmud arrive at Saed’s house.

“Ahalan!” said Saed.

“Ahalan, show me the licenses” said Muhammed.

“Here, where is the money?” asked Saed.

“Here, 400 shekels” replied Muhammed.

“Very good, goos luck” said Saed.

“Thanks” replied Muhammed.

“Come on now, we need to be at the gate soon” said Muhammed to Mahmmud.

“Turn on the car” he countinued.

It won’t go on, there must be a problem with the engine”. replied Mahmmud.

“Are you kidding me?!” said Muhammed with annoyment.

“What do you want from me? you got us into this crazy race”. said Mahmmud who was about to lose his temper.

“Ok, lets come down, I have an idea, we can pay Saed to give us a ride. said Muhammed

“Great idea, ow much should we pay him?” asked Mahmmud.

“It doesn’t matter, we probably won’t come back anyway” said Muhammed.

“Ok, lets go talk to him”

“Saed! open the door!” yelled Muhammed while Mahmmud was knocking on it.

“What? are there any problems?” asked Saed.

“Yes, take this, 100 shekels, and come give us a ride to te gate, quickly” said Muhammed in a hurry.

“No problem” replied Saed.

And so they drove untill they arrived at the gate.

“Here we are, good luck” said Saed

“Thanks” replied Muhammed. ” Come on, lets do it!” he hyped up Mahmmud for the attack.

“Work permits please” said the guard.

“Here” said Muhammed, showing him the licenses.

The guard took a close look at the licesnses. Muhammed was nervous. Mahmmud was ready to attack.

Eventually, the guard finally spoke.

“Welcome to Israel” he said.

The brothers were muchly relieved they weren’t caught, now they are in.

“It will be a long walk, we have to be tolerant” said Muhammed.

“Where are we going?” asked Mahmmud.

“To jerusalem”, replied Muhammed “we have to do it in the holiest place” he said.

“How much time will it take us to get there?”asked Mahmmud.

“At least half an hour, be tolerant” replied Muhammed.

“I can’t wait bro” said Mahmmud

“I know, me too, be patient”

And so the brothers walked, but suddenly Muhammed noticed something.

“Do you see that golen dome?” asked Muhammed

“Yes” replied Mahmmud.

“That’s the place we’re heading to, it means we’re close!” said Muhammed exitedly.

“Finally, lets go” replied Mahmmud.

Muhammed and Mahmmud walked and walked for anothe 15 minutes, until they reached the golden the dome.

“Who are we killing?” asked Mahmmud.

“Lets kill the policeman over there”. said Muhammed.

Take out your pocketknive, hide it in your pocket, attack when I tell you to.

“Now” yelled Muhammed at Mahmmud.

“Allah akbar!!” they screamed

BANG

Blood is on the floor, people around are running away panicly.

The cop just shot Muhammed in the chest, dropping him to the ground.

Mahmmud charged at the cop with rage, to get revenge, he stabbed him in the stomach. injuring him.

BANG

The cop shot Mahmmud in the head, killing him on the spot.

Muhammed eyed are filling with tears, he can’t believe his brother died.

The cop thinks he killed them both, but Muhammed uses all of his remaining power to get up and stab the cop deadly, thanks to a special technique he learned from his father. He spinned the pocketknive while inside of the cop, cutting vital bloodstreams and injurung him badly.

BANG

the cop shoots Muhammed at the head. From this shot he will not get up.

The cop later died from his injuries, and is described a hero in the Israeli media.

In the end, Muhammed and Mahmmud learned that killing other people doesn’t send you to heaven, but to hell. They were mislead by their community and now will be punished by spending an enternity in hell.