In a Divorce With a Narcissist? A Guide To Dealing With a Narcissist Spouse

If you’re dealing with a narcissistic spouse in a divorce, you know how difficult it can be. You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, never quite sure what will set them off. They may be charming one minute and absolutely infuriating the next. Narcissists can make the divorce process even more complicated and stressful than it already is.

But there are ways to deal with a narcissist spouse during a divorce. With the right strategy, you can protect yourself emotionally and intellectually while also getting what you need out of the divorce settlement. Here’s what you need to know about divorcing a narcissist.

Understand what you’re dealing with—a narcissist is someone who is excessively self-absorbed and lacks empathy

Navigating a divorce can be emotionally charged and exhausting, especially when narcissism is in the mix. Narcissists lack empathy, making it difficult to cooperate and come to an agreement. When spouses enter a narcissist and divorce dynamic, it’s important for them to understand what they’re dealing with—that narcissism goes beyond egotism and may have deep-seated psychological underpinnings. Being aware of this helps divorcing couples better prepare for hard conversations and maintain healthier boundaries during negotiations with narcissists, helping to reduce stress levels during such an overwhelming transition.

Don’t try to reason with them or change their behavior; it won’t work

Trying to reason with someone or change their behavior is often an exercise in futility. Knowing how long a task might take — in this case, what is a New York divorce timeline — can be helpful in managing expectations as well as resources: both financial and emotional. What makes getting divorced different for each couple is the complexity of their individual circumstances, so talking to a professional who understands the specifics of the law can consolidate information and help make it easier to navigate the process. Ultimately, it may not be possible to change someone’s behavior, but understanding how best to approach any situation goes a long way towards creating successful outcomes.

Set boundaries and stick to them; this will help you protect yourself emotionally

Setting and sticking to boundaries is a crucial part of divorcing a narcissist because it helps protect you emotionally. This can be much easier said than done, especially if you’ve been conditioned to ignore your own needs in the face of someone else’s charm or overpowering authority. We all have boundaries, but some of us are better at recognizing and defending them than others. It is important to remember that healthy boundaries involve treating ourselves with respect and showing respect to other people while also protecting our emotional wellbeing. Setting strong boundaries is an effective way to do this since it makes clear what is and isn’t acceptable in our relationships. Establishing sound boundaries also helps prevent unhealthy behavior from taking root by clarifying expectations early on.

Keep communication to a minimum, and don’t engage in arguments

When dealing with a narcissist in any kind of situation, it is important to keep communication to a minimum. Even if you are trying how to get a narcissist to divorce you, arguing or getting into power struggles will only delay the process; instead, remain calm and concise when communicating with them. Most narcissists are not open-minded people; this means that they likely won’t be willing to compromise or agree with your point of view. Staying silent and avoiding engaging in arguments or debates is the best course of action since it minimizes conflict and removes attention from yourself, which is the core need of a narcissist.

Seek support from friends or family members who can offer emotional stability

It can be incredibly difficult to navigate a relationship, or the end of a relationship, the worst thing you can do to a narcissist is to seek the support of friends and family. This shows the narcissist that they are not the sole source of your emotional stability and validation, an idea that they often thrive off of. Friends and family members are the perfect people to talk to when dealing with such situations, as they will bring invaluable objectivity. In addition, having the presence of an understanding ear is an incomparable gift in moments during which it feels like all hope is lost. Don’t let anyone undermine your self-worth by letting them convince you otherwise; don’t hesitate to reach out for the help of trusted loved ones in times when it feels like there is nobody else in the world who ‘gets it’ or cares for you the way you need them to.

Focus on taking care of yourself during this difficult time

It is no secret that we are all facing a very difficult time right now. This calls for us to make extra effort to practice self-care and take good care of ourselves—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Ultimately, taking good care of yourself can help you better manage stress, boost your mood and feelings of wellbeing, promote an overall healthier lifestyle, and enable a greater ability to take on more challenging tasks that the future may bring. A few ways to do this include making sure you get enough sleep; eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, avoiding too much media coverage, talking with trusted friends or family members, pampering yourself in little ways like having a spa day at home or indulging in some delicious comfort food, and finding joy in hobbies. The key is to remember that it’s okay to put yourself first, so don’t hold back on investing in yourself during this uncertain time.

If you find yourself in a situation where you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to understand what you’re up against. Narcissists lack empathy and reason, so trying to change their behavior or reason with them will be fruitless. The best thing you can do is set boundaries and stick to them. This will help protect you from their manipulations and outbursts. Keep communication to a minimum, and only engage if absolutely necessary. Seek support from loved ones who can offer emotional stability during this time. It’s also important to focus on taking care of yourself: eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you happy.