Jane goes to school

Jane goes to kindergarten

Hagai Cohen

My name is Jane, I am four years old and I am a ‘lefty’.

On my first day at kindergarten, my Mom took me into the classroom to meet Miss Levine the teacher.

As soon as we walked inside I saw two boys who looked different from all the other children. One was wearing a big mitten on his left hand, and the other had his left sleeve sewn to his chest.

…………….

While I was wondering why they looked so strange and unhappy, my Mom took Miss Levine aside and started whispering. I listened carefully to every word of the conversation.

“Jane is definitely a ‘lefty’, yet she holds the pencil and crayons properly.

She writes her name, and she can even tie her shoe laces. We do not want you to try to force her to use her right hand”.

I knew how to do these things because my mom had taught me how to use my left hand to write, draw and eat.

“Don’t worry Mrs.  Cohen we are very experienced here and do not force the children to change, but modern life makes tools and utensils for right handed people. It might be very difficult for her later on in life.” Said the teacher, who despite her words, did not look like she agreed with my mom.

Later that day Miss Levine decided to practice with us tying our shoelaces.  I was sure it was because of what my mom had said to Miss Levine. I was eager to show Miss Levine how I tie my shoes, and was very pleased when she said: “Jane, show us please how you tie your shoelaces”.

The moment I held my laces in my hands Miss Levine said quite loudly “Jane, it is very awkward the way you are holding your laces if you continue this way you will make a knot that will be impossible to untie. Let me show you, Jane. It is very simple”

I did not say a word and continued to make the knot. The moment I finished I looked at Miss Levine and pulled the two ends of the lace, swiftly untying the knot.

Miss Levine was astounded, “how did you do it, Jane?”

“It is very simple Miss Levine. Let me show you”. I said.

Without even looking around I knew that everyone was watching me. I felt great being a ‘lefty’. I felt very special.

This was not the case with the two ‘lefty’ boys, who were forced, by Miss Levine and their parents, to use their right hand. I felt sorry for them, they were miserable!

Every Friday, a woman named Miss SchteinKopff came to the kindergarten.

Miss SchteinKopff was a special teacher. She taught us how to prepare our lunch, how to set the utensils on the table, and most importantly, how to behave at the table. She was vicious and very strict. She never tolerated any mistakes.

“Always come to the table with clean hands and face”. She said

And we had to answer together:

“It is hygienic and it shows respect to the person who prepared the meal.”

Or

” When you set the table,” she said,

And we all recited: “the fork is always placed on the left of the plate, and the knife and spoon on the right.”

“What is: B.M.W.?” she asked

“BREAD on the left, MILK and WATER on the right.”

We knew our routine.

And many more table manners:

“Never stuff your mouth. Always chew with your mouth closed, and do not talk while chewing.

No suction sounds while drinking, and no sound while stirringthe sugar.

Never leave the table while others are still eating. However if you must go to the bathroom you never say it at the table, what you say is “:

“I need to wash my hands, may I be excused?”

When you leave the table, move your chair without making noise, then push it back and say thank you”.

There were so many rules; it was hard to remember all of them.

One Friday, after we had helped to prepare our lunch, which had been two hours of torture, Miss SchteinKopff, finally let us sit down to eat

I as usual sat down at the head of the table so no one would sit to my left, and accidently push me while I was eating.  Like everybody else I was waiting for Miss SchteinKopff to say, ‘Bon appetite.’

She was in no hurry and we were starving. She walked around the table just staring at us and saying nothing. After torturing us a little longer, she finally said the magic word: “Bon appetite”

All the other ravenous children grabbed their forks in their left hand and immediately transferred them to their right hand and started eating.

When Miss SchteinKopff saw this, she went berserk “Stop! Stop eating right now!” She screamed.

“There is only one girl here,” she said while pointing at me, “only one girl who listens to what I teach you. She is the only one holding the fork with her left hand, as it should be.”

“My name is Jane, Miss SchteinKopff. Jane Cohen!”

“Yes Jane, you are a good girl,” she said.

I pulled a sweet innocent face while trying to contain the laughter threatening to erupt. Miss Steinhoff did not know that I was a ‘lefty’ and that my rule was:

“Never Ever hold the fork in your right hand.”