To Fiverr With Love – Things I Will Do For Five Dollars ($5)…. Or Less

I wandered past the Fiverr headquarters this morning and wondered.

Why don’t they offer things for five dollars. Or less. 

They don’t.

So I have.

For only three dollars, I will insult you profusely in any of the following languages (one per customer):

English, French, Spanish

Yiddish ($2 discount for dying languages)

Call for quotes on the following:

East Mongolian, English with Bronx accent

For Only Two And A Half Dollars, I Will Write Something Using Too Many Capital Letters. Up To Twenty Very Short Sentences

For five dollars, I will wake up in the morning and tell my wife and mother-in-law how much I love them.*

*Offer only applies only on their respective birthdays. PM me to receive quotes for other days of the year.

For a modest, unobtrusive, pitiful dollar, I will intrepidly add way too many unnecessary adjectives and adverbs delightedly. To any (short) miserable text you may have advertently written blathely.

For only one dollar (while supplies last), I will invent a brand new word for you.

Serpetitiously speaking.

Check out some of my previous new words here:

http://www.ourboox.com/books/the-pastimonious-the-frenitory-and-the-wombicile/

For five dollars, you can send me an angry e-mail you want to send to someone else, but have the good sense to realize that you might regret sending later on.*

*If you don’t pay me, however, I will forward it. With my own delicate embellishments.

For free (!), I will invest one million dollars of your money. Just saying.

After all, Ourboox needs investment.

And I need a new car.

I am sure that there are many other things I could do for a couple of dollars, or less. Or even for free.

But I don’t want to take away business from Fiverr.

At any rate (literally speaking), here is their url if you want to spend five dollars. Or more.

Oh, but please do tell them that Mel sent you.

www.fiverr.com

Oh yes, and happy fifth (!) birthday, Micha and gang. For free, I just sang you happy birthday in jazz tempo. And that’s for real.