Parlor Talk

“It’s all because of you.“

“Poppycock!”

“You’re the reason I lost my job. Remember when I brought you to work? My boss couldn’t stand the sight of you.”

“Get a life!”

“Mom could never put up with you either.  She said you have no manners. Talking dirty all the time. Dad said that all you know is parlor talk. “

“That’s a lot of crap.”

“Remember how I had to leave my apartment because you made so much noise. Day and night.”

“Gimme a break.”

“The TV repairman almost punched me once because of something you said to him. And that time that I brought a date home with me. What was that about?”

“You stink.”

“There you go again. I think I’m just going to get rid of you.

Let someone else put up with your cackling day and night. You never do a thing. Just sit there on the sofa watch TV and chew your sunflower seeds. You just go on repeating the same things over and over. And all of them are nasty.”

“Get a life!”

“There you go again. I’m sick and tired of you telling me get a life.”

“You’re a fool.”

“You’re the most aggravating parrot in the whole wide world. I should have taught you Shakespeare.”