There Will Never Be Another Ewe

The whole world knows. It was in the papers. You were on TV. Who doesn’t know? You’re going to Mars in March. Everybody knows.

Aren’t you proud of me?

Not particularly, you’re leaving me seven mouths to feed.

The government will take care of you.

It’s not the same.

I know, but this is my opportunity to make something of my life. To be special.

What narishkeit.  Who got you up to this?

It’s something I read in a book. Asimov perhaps.

Asimov? Reading? You’re a goat!. Since when do goats read? Goats don’t read books. Goats eat books.

I’ve been taking a crash course.

A crash course? Now that’s really appropriate.

They’ve been feeding me a special compound that makes me about as smart as a human being.

You mean the funny two-legged creatures that feed us? They’re a bunch of dopes.

Will I still find you when I come back?

What, in three years? I doubt whether I’ll live that long.

I will. I’ve been taking a special compound.

You’ll have to find someone else.

I will. But there will never ever be another ewe.