Today I went looking for some fuzzy melons in the Farmers’ market. And I don’t mean fruit. I mean the human variety. Bald men. Hair today. Gone tomorrow.
What I really wanted to know is whether balds have more fun.
I asked Yuval and he told me
“When you have hair, you’re always worried about going bald. When you go bald, that’s just one thing less to worry about”.
That makes sense, don’t you think?
Nimrod is very happy. He sells natural popsicles made out of real fruit. I had one. It was natural.
Being bald also comes naturally.
Nimrod is happy because he never has a ‘bad hair day’.
I can buy that.
So then I asked Ori. He is really happy. He is marrying a gorgeous and wonderful girl named Talia next month. I know her. She can make anybody smile.
Tom wanted to be in the book really badly. He has hair, but bald people are considerate, so I forgave him for having so much hair. I even allowed him to be in our book. Here he is.
Reah is really happy. He thinks that hair loss has something to do with testosterone levels and manhood.
Who am I to contradict him?
Amiram is extremely happy. He makes passiflora liquer. It tastes great. He drinks a bit with every potential customer. I think he is his own best client.
No wonder he is so happy.
Geva runs the farmers’ market. He is happy. He would be much happier if he owned the farmers’ market. But he is still very happy. He saves money on shampoo and stylists. And he can still grow hair on his chin.
Bald people make do with less. That’s Geva in a nutshell.
This is me.
I’m very happy. But as a scientist, I have to wonder.
If you will look VERY carefully, you will see that I am not completely bald. Here and there, on my bald head, you will find a couple of renegade hairs. Outliers. Survivors.
My kids say that these few hairs are so far apart that they text each other.
But what I would really like to know is WHAT IS THEIR SECRET OF SURVIVAL. How have they managed to stay put on my pate while so many of their comrades have fallen and vanished.
So I asked Yitzhak Cohen, the happy taxi driver who took us home from the market. He explained that bald men are more intelligent. They lose their hair because their head is too busy thinking.
In short, “Cognito ergo sum BALD”.
In summary (scientists like to summarize) I met a lot of happy people today who are bald. They accept their baldness as a fact of life. Their life. Some wear hats, but none wore wigs or had funny hair transplants. They look at life in a positive way. I like that.
So I guess, if life gives you a melon-head, you should wear it with distinction.
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