Mary had a little iamb

Mary had a dinosaur

Who never went to sleep

And every time that Mary laughed

The dinosaur would weep.

“Is it because you are extinct?”

asked Mary with a sigh,

“Is that the reason why you never sleep

and only cry?”

“Oh, no,” replied the dinosaur,

“Don’t take me for a fool,

I’d rather die a thousand deaths

Than follow you to school.”

Mary had an octopus –

A teacher at her school,

He taught them four plus four is ten

They thought he was a fool.

Mary had a tuna roll,

She left it in her purse,

By Friday afternoon the stench

Had gone from bad to worse.

Mary has an autograph

Of someone very famous.

It’s hard to read, so we can’t tell

Precisely what his name is.

Mary had a sitting duck,

Who loved to laze around,

And even though she seldom stood,

She never went to town.

Mary went to school one day,

And placed it on her head,

And when the teacher called on her,

This is what she said.

“I’m just a sitting duck,” said she,

Upon dear Mary’s head,

I do not read or write, and so

I’d rather quack instead.”

Mary had a kangaroo

Who wanted to be free,

Which was ok, because she had

Another two or three.

Mary had a pamplemouse,

He was a strappy fellow,

But when he went to visit France

He suddenly turned yellow.

Mary had a uniform,
She wore it all about,
And when it soiled and dirtied,
She just turned it inside out.

Mary had a pachyderm,
Complete with slimy trunk,
And though it wasn’t quite extinct,
Boy, did it ever stunct.

Mary had a jellyfish
It was a monstrous thing
Anyone she couldn’t stand
The jellyfish would sting.

Mary had a giant squid
With inks of every hue
It went and sprayed the President
With Red, and White, and Blue

Mary had a two-by-four,
It certainly was long,
And when she spun it round and round
She’d decimate the throng

Mary had a centipede
With fifty thousand legs,
Until the day she stepped on it,
No centipede. Just dregs.

Mary had a pedicure

Her four nails shining so,

There was no fifth, and that’s because

She had a mistletoe.