The mOtLeY messed up CrUe

Once upon a time a stupid little loser called Nikki sixx (terrible name I know) well that wasn’t his real name. His real name was Mick mars but his old ass wrinkly friend stole that name so he had to pick a new shitty one ‘Nikki sixx’. Anyway, if you haven’t seen Nikki shits before oh I mean Nikki sixx, I put a picture of him on the next page.

So as the very true story goes on Nikki sixx wanted to form a band with Mick mars and recruit two other members. So guess what, That’s exactly what they did. But before I reveal who the other two member were. I need to tell you what roles Nikki sixx and Mick mars were. Nikki sixx was the fabulous singer for the band and Mick mars was the bassist and writes all the songs. Now for the other two members, called Tommy lee and Vince kneel. Tommy lee was the main guitarist and Vince Kneel was the drummer; excellent drummer for a guy with one arm…Oh did I forget to tell you Vince kneel lost his arm in a car crash but still wanted to be in the band, although the rest of the band had two arms they were just lazy so Vince kneel left the band. The other three got depressed and started doing drugs all day everyday. If you want to know more about their drug life (not sure why you would) then go to the next page!

So, onto the drug life… Do you really think I was gonna tell you about drugs?! This is a family friendly book so fuck you! I mean fudge you. Hmmm, let me tell you about some Motley Crue songs. The most popular song is called kickstart my Heart reaching 900 million views! I will sing a bit for you, BIGMAC 103 when i get high, almost peed, my honk, kickstart my heart. sung professionally by Nikki sixx. Some other good tunes, Dead wire, Take me to the bottom and boys boys boys.

I hope you listened to those songs I told you about. If not, that is ok but you should really go listen to them now. NOW! Then I will tell you about some other bands that absolute suck worse then Motley crue, didn’t think that was possible did you? Well, starting off at the worse band ever to exist called ‘artic monkeys’ sounds like a little kids tv show right? Pathetic band, trash songs, delusional members. that’s all needed to be said really just look at the state of them. And no, this part is not a joke artic monkeys are really the most garbage band ever.

Let me guess you want to hear about another awful band? Well you’re in luck because I have one right here for you called Slipknot. That’s right, Slipknot. Now you may be thinking that name sounds worse then ‘artic monkeys’ but I disagree, and you will also disagree and chant ‘Slipknot sounds better then artic monkeys’ if you don’t you probably have dead sea hair and dip your hair in beans. Back onto why this band is complete trash, first off all you cant hear anything execpt heavy drum banging and 5 people spamming a guitar. There is 9 members in the band all stupid as fuck stood on the stage looking like melons shouting ‘devil in I’ like the devil is probably in them with how fucked up the band is. And to top that off most of them have shit names like Rikki rockett and Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, even worse then Nikki sixx and Vince kneel. You’re probably thinking why is there a picture of homeless people, well that is the members of slipknot. I don’t know how people like ‘Slipknot’ But if you are interested go listen to Mr. rainmaker by Slipknot.