Some people think that the British are nutty. So I went to London to perform a scientific inquiry. I wandered about. I wondered about. And here are my initial results.
Yes, it is true that they do have a garter belt in a museum exhibit. But it’s quite normal to wear garters. Isn’t it? And if you do wear a garter, don’t you need a belt?
Of course you do.
Some people will tell you that this guy must be nutty. But I beg to differ.
He is simply being patriotic.
There are market stalls in a church. Isn’t that nutty? Not at all.
You’re less likely to be cheated when the salesman is in such close proximity to judgement day.
This young lady gives away delicious cheese on the street. Happens to me all the time.
The cheese was enticing. So, like mice, we were enticed. We went into the department store. I spied an umbrella selling for 170 pounds. That is only normal. They need to charge a lot for the umbrella to pay for the cheese they give away on the street. The salesman told me that it was a bespoke umbrella. He was right. I counted ten.
In the basement of the department store, this young man let us taste his vodka. He told us it was made out of milk. Some people might think that nutty. But I just think he drinks too much on the job. You would too.
We saw a love exhibit. Some people believe in free love. But there was a charge to get into the show. Quite normal, I reckon.
Someone has to pay for it.
In Berkeley Square, a balloon artist had made a tree out of thousands of balloons. At first thought, I considered it to be nutty, with so many beautiful old trees around. But then I realized how normal it was to have a balloon tree in the middle of the park.
I just can’t remember why.
British people love taking pictures of each other. And surveillance videos.
But isn’t it normal to want a hobby?
British people don’t mind getting dressing up and dancing with complete strangers.
I think that’s quite normal (after all, I am the one in the middle).
I bumped into Rafi on Oxford Street.
Granted, Rafi is nutty. But, on the other hand, he is not British.
We took a Selfridge.
So, the scientific conclusions of my study are as follows:
1. British people are quite normal, and never nutty.
2. Nutty people are not quite British.
3. Fortnum and Masons is quite an expensive department store.
4. Further studies are warranted. I’ll be back.
If you think that this book is trash, you won’t like this one either:
The British People are Polite
On further thought you probably won’t like any of my books. To make sure, here’s the link:
Just in case you want to show me up and write a better book, start here!