The training

The training

Hagai Cohen

Mr. Finnegan?

“Mr. Fxxken Finnegan for you, or better call me Liam.”

“I am Sean o’ looney, I am a writer, I am writing a book about the I.R.A. heroic actions.”

“What the fxxk do you want from me?”

“Some little bird whispered to me that you were a ‘Pyrotechnics’ expert. You definitely have some great ‘war stories’ to tell?”

“Of course I do but I ain’t going to tell you shit. Some of my friends are still at large, and wanted for questioning.”

“Ok I’ll buy you a pint and I’ll listen, you tell me whatever you feel like.”

“Well, let’s see, back in 2001 right after September 11th, I had to stay low for reasons you shouldn’t ask.  The best way at that time was to leave Ireland and to help some freedom fighters in the Middle East, to teach them how to make pyrotechnic devices, especially the kind sewn in a vest, a necessary outfit for suicidal freedom fighters.

“I was not sure if the ‘vest bomb’ was a smart combination or a dumb one, and between me and you I didn’t give a damn. My sole interest was the dynamics of their self-distraction. I wanted to understand their motives. Was is it ideology, hate, or distorted personalities?

“While being there I found a group of motivated young people that wanted to become Shahids.

“Many of them were secular and needed indoctrination. One of them drew my attention, she was a young girl of seventeen. She wanted to kill herself with as many Jews as possible.  Her motive was pure revenge.

“This young woman was chosen to be ‘the first female suicide bomber. During her training she was indoctrinated, radicalized, and brainwashed until she was ready.

“My part was to train her, to rehearse the device arming procedure and to practice the operation of the fuse.

I tried to be professional and to talk laconically, however, during my sessions with her I could not avoid liking her. I felt that her motives were not refined and noticed some traces of latent doubts.

“Forty eight hours before she had to be dispatched to her mission, she came to talk. It was the night before she would be isolated to meditate and to pray.

“During our long talk she suddenly stopped and to my surprise, she said: “Very soon I’ll be with Allah, and I have never been with a man. I do not know how does it feel but I believe I might like it.  I would like to go as a woman and not as a child.”

“Of course, I understood what she asked me to do and I became very scared.

“This woman was considered an asset to the cause of the freedom fighters. If I would be found as the one who desecrated her purity I am a dead man.

“No,” I said, “I am a married man I have two lovely children, I can’t do it. She started to sob and I felt sorry for her. I could not stand her begging. I surrendered.

I gave her the royal treatment, I was gentle and respectful and she definitely got the hang of it. She could not contain her emotions, she spontaneously jumped on the bed and cried “I am a woman I am a woman.” After calming down she said. “I like it Liam, thank you.”

The interaction between us in the morning was overwhelming. She stood naked in front of me and said: “you can’t leave me now, Liam, I love you, I do don’t want to kill myself. I want this sensation to last forever.”

“Ok,” I told her,  “You go home to your parents and I’ll talk to your superiors.”

Right after she left, without wasting any time I went to the commander and told him that in my opinion she was not ready. “Let her go, in her mental state her she might become a liability.  If she gives herself up she will endanger all of us.”

“Have you anything to do with her decision to quit?”

“No sir of course not.”

“Ok” said the commanding officer.” you must leave the region today. Some people will blame you for her retreat. You told her to go home, didn’t you?”

“I took the liberty to send her home sir. I did it only because of her emotional turmoil. I was afraid that her depression might affect the other trainees.”

I left the same day from Ramallah to Amman in a cab, took a flight to Paris and boarded a fishing boat to Ireland.

During the years I kept in touch with the commander who helped me escape. The girl told her parents about her mission. Her parents within two months, rushed her to marry a relative. Seven months later she gave birth to a baby girl.

“What a story,” said Sean” is the girl your,s?” “I really don’t know” I said “what I do know is that there is a pretty blond girl with blue eyes in the village Nabi Salah, She must be seventeen today.”

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