Gloomeris, the Serious Laughing Hyena
Meets Dr. Cluck
©Mel Rosenberg 2008 All Rights Reserved
If you were a cat,
Or a bat,
Who never smiled all day long,
That might not be wrong.
If you were a serious ox,
Or a fox,
In a box,
Your folks might think it was okay.
But for laughing hyenas,
What they do all day.
Except for Gloomeris,
Nothing is humorous.
When someone tells
A joke about the jackass,
Who tried to fly over the wall.
They all think it’s a blast,
But he doesn’t lough at all.
Do you know the joke about the yellow bunny?
Gloomeris doesn’t think it’s funny.
His parents, Sophie and Thomas Hatter,
Knew this was no laughing matter.
They tried everything:
Nothing seemed to work,
Gloomeris was as serious
As a hotel clerk.
Then one day, at a family outing, Uncle Guffaw told them about a very special doctor. Dr. Cluck, he told them, could solve any problem, however serious. Which was perfect, because this was a problem about being too serious.
Dr. Cluck was a very busy doctor, they soon found out. Gloomeris and his parents had to wait several weeks for the appointment.
In the waiting room, Gloomeris sat next to kangaroos and porcupines. There wasn’t much room in the waiting room.
Finally it was his turn.
“Sit down”, said Dr. Cluck, and Gloomeris did. He noticed, though, that the doctor was not sitting at all. He was upside-down on the desk, doing a headstand. After a moment of not doing anything in particular, Dr. Cluck began to chuckle. The chuckle turned into a giggle, and the giggle into a wiggle.
Finally, still on his head, he said,
“What troubles you,
And makes you blue,
Is easy to see,
At least for me –
You take yourself too seriously.
After all, it has been said,
A smile is a frown,
Turned upside down.
So go home,
Put on a baseball cap,
Socks from the Bahamas,
And paisley pyjamas,
Take a photograph,
And soon you will begin,
And without “so long”
Or any such thing
He suddenly began to sing:
“My name is William Cluck III,
What a rooster, what a bird,
My father was a famous Cluck,
His father too, was no dumb duck,
And in their footsteps I continue
To lend a wing to others who
Are feeling just a little blue.
So if you’re –
Down in the dumps Sick of your humps
Stuck on a wall, Getting nowhere at all,
Flat on your back, Or plain out of luck,
Try giving a call to Doctor Cluck.”
Then he tapped both his feet,
To an African beat,
Patted his chin,
Ruffled his tail,
Had a sip of ginger ale,
And invited the very next patiant in.
For several weeks, Gloomeris wondered about his strange visit with Dr. Cluck. What did the Doctor-rooster mean? Was he for real?
In the meantime, Gloomeris remained as serious as ever.
So one day he decided to take the doctor’s advice. After all, what did he have to lose? He dressed up exactly as Dr. Cluck had recommended. Then he took a photo of himself.
Slowly it began to dawn on him.
Here he was,
Looking at a photo of
The world’s most
Serious laughing hyena,
From the Ivory Coast,
Wearing a baseball cap,
Socks from the Bahamas,
And Paisley pajamas,
With the most serious frown,
Gloomeris finally began to see –
“There’s no one who is funnier than me!
Then out came “Ha”
Then “Ha Ha Ha”
Then “Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha “,
And finally a “Ho Ho Hee,
No one could ever be as funny as me.”
And when he turned the photo around,
Gloomeris could see that
was just a smile,
No one’s more humorous,
Than our friend Gloomeris,
You’ve never seen a
From the Ivory Coast to Pasadena.
He’a a stand-up sensation,
all over the nation.
Someday we’ll go,
To see his show.
Here is the letter that Gloomeris
Wrote to the famous Doctor.
Dear Doctor Cluck,
I was so serious,
I couldn’t see,
That no one is funnier than me!
Thanks to you,
I’m no longer blue!
Gloomeris (of course).
Thank you for reading our book!
If you like it, you might also want to read other children’s books that I’ve written and Rotem Omri has illustrated. For example:
“Brian, Phil and a Fish Named Flo”
Read more about me and see ALL my books on Ourboox (I have many)
Or even better, create a book of your own!!!
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